I am a posting MACHINE! A MACHINE!
I just wanted to explain that for the past year, I have been journaling a lot. I have been purchasing really expensive journals and then spilling coffee on them, getting greasy food finger prints in them, and then losing them and having panic attacks about people reading my thoughts.....so, I decided to start this blog. I haven't lost my laptop yet.....cross those fingers. Many of these posts are from a year ago or so, but I did want to share them, to show my progression, my place, and my honesty. When I get all my existing writing up, I will be a normal poster and post once a day.
Real time, my anxiety is still out of control, I suffer with depression, and I am going to get my meds straight here next week. Real time I am tracking my bingeing and weight.
This blog is also beneficial because sometimes I am hard to track down and my work schedule keeps me against the world a bit (I work evenings and weekends often), so now the 3 people in this world that may want to actually chat with me, can read about my issues and NOT have to hear about them all the time when I complain and play my sad sad violins to them. WIN-WIN.
Also, many of the real dark stuff is from a while back. I had a really dim period a few weeks ago when the ex started bothering me again and I had a work melt down that I did see coming because I accepted something that was so below me, but for the most part, my sky is parting and the sun is starting to shine and I feel like myself again....this is because the people who love me have been by my side, have encouraged me, and have made me feel like getting what I want is possible...THANK YOU ALL!
I will share it all, but I don't want any of my friends to feel like they need to schedule an intervention, not yet, at least.