BUT.......A few months ago, before I even got engaged, I started looking at wedding dresses online. I know, I know. I was that girl. I just couldn't help it.
You see, I have seen a lot of wedding dresses in my day. I have sold them. I have dressed (and undressed!) brides on their big days. I even tried a few on years ago when the bridal shop I worked for asked me to (they wanted to figure out what dresses look best on specific body types....I was the curvy example).
I started to become a bit obsessed with finding the right dress for me because I am still struggling with the mixed feelings I have about my body. I know it is just a number on the scale and I know that I have made huge strides in confronting my food addiction. I just feel like I let myself go body-wise when I became very depressed. It is something I think about all too often. Before I dated Awful, my body was on point and it was something I had worked very hard for. I just don't want to keep doing all the work if it isn't going to stick. That's why I am getting to the root of my issues. Yo-yo weight loss/gain is exhausting.
I love strapless wedding gowns. They look good on most everyone, but me. My shoulders are very broad and my boobs are a bit far apart. Essentially, a strapless dress makes me look like a linebacker. I have happily worn them when I have been asked (like as a bridesmaid), but if I had my choice about what looks best on me, it would be something v-neck that opens up my chest area.
The other issue I personally have with strapless is the bra issue. As I mentioned above, my boobs live in the same development, but they aren't exactly neighbors. A strapless bra gives me no cleavage, so when I wear them, all I am left with is a deflated chest and a pile of back fat....strapless bras give me the worst back fat!!!!
Okay, there is one more thing. Strapless dresses never seem to stay in place. I have planned countless weddings where the bride had to yank up her gown constantly and the only thing I could do to help involved a few stitches and some double sided tape. Nothing makes me more self-conscious than when I feel like I have to tug at my clothes. It is one of the reasons why I often avoid things that tie around my waist. I love the look, but it makes me constantly fidget....I am always seeking just the right place on my waist. And no, I will not be wearing a bridal belt on my big day, even though I know they are in right now and are quite adorable.
So, what I wanted was specific. I decided I wanted some sleeves (to cover up my psoriasis in case I have an outbreak and help me avoid any dress pulling up) and that I liked the look of lace when it came to a more full coverage style dress. Lace is a bit delicate and also offers a very close fit. The issue is that since I am a real women with real curves and lumps and bumps...I needed lace with structure. That is hard to find! So much of the lace with sleeves styles that I found were either super matronly, very sheer and nightie-like, or very boho which works great for beachy and outdoor weddings, but not at all for me....SIDENOTE: I would love to be a chill gal who crunches organic granola all day because I often have girl crushes on chickies like this, but I am a control freak and thus I will never be a boho bride.
I searched and searched and searched for example photos of what I wanted and I couldn't find anything....then I came across this:
It was everything I wanted and more.....OMG, this is also my first photo ever on this blog!!! Exciting! This stunning bride customized her dress and added those sleeves on and it gave me a great idea. I could easily add the sleeves if I couldn't find the exact dress I wanted. It was more important to choose a flattering neckline and shape than worry about something specifically with sleeves. Duh.
I am happy to report that even though my dress isn't exactly like this (mine has a bit less skirt)....it is pretty close. It could be cousins. I am VERY excited about it! Sometimes I hate on technology, but inspiration photos aren't always a bad idea. I mean, without this photo, I would have never found the lacey number that I can't wait to wear.
And this concludes the wedding jazz for a while. I have lots of other things to worry about....like finding a job.
