I try to be private. I just don't like everyone up in my business. I have even been avoiding updating my LinkedIn because I don't want to share my move with old friends from the past that I no longer associate with.
As I get older, I want to control who I spend my time with more and more.
Of course, I am a hypocrite, too. I stalk Awful's wedding registry, but I wouldn't want him to do it to me....true confessions are ugly.
Lately, with new technology (especially iPhones and other smart phones) everyone can be caught. If you are doing something that you wouldn't want someone to know about, you really shouldn't partake in it. Thank goodness I went to college when cell phones were just becoming mainstream....the way I used to party was perfect blackmail material. Drunk girl - check. Short skirts sometimes without proper undergarments - check. Irrational anger that could result in chicken nugget throwing - check.
I am SO lucky I was born in the early 80's.
Last night, in between working, I searched out some celebrity gossip and learned of a new brewing scandal. Steve Ward (some wouldn't consider him a celeb) from Tough Love on VH1 was recorded convincing a prostitute to sleep with him in exchange for a spot on his show. The entire conversation including the sex that followed was leaked to the media. There is speculation that it was shared because the gal he seduced never made it on to his show this season. I listened to the entire rendezvous and I lost a bit of my life, but, Steve Ward comes off terribly. He speaks against the idea of matchmaking (what he does for a living) and he just sounds like a total pig. In addition, he has a girlfriend who lives with him, so he is also a cheater.
I used to watch Tough Love. I actually liked it. I really enjoyed Steve and I felt like he was genuine. I was convinced that with his hard-knock advice, he was helping the lost ladies on his show. I personally related to them when it came to body and self esteem issues. I remember tuning in once while visiting Sissy and she came into the room and said, "You watch this? Doesn't the host remind you so much of all the stupid entitled douches that we went to high school with? He is such a scum bag, I can tell." I defended him, but she wasn't wrong.
But, is it right that Steve had a private exchange recorded without his consent?
Lately, I think to myself, if you wouldn't want it thrown back at you, don't write or say it. You never know what may be used against you. As the world changes, the people in it need to adapt.
There is a thin veil between public and private. Celebrities who used to be able to be assholes or just plain crazy privately can't really get away with it anymore. People I once never really thought of, I now don't care for: Ashton Kutcher, John Mayer, Kanye West, Lindsay Lohan, Amanda Bynes, Justin Beiber, Miley Cyrus, Taylor Swift, and Reese Witherspoon to name a few....all because of the way they portrayed themselves on Twitter, because they were involved in a scandal, or because they just seem very nasty and unlikable when filmed on camera without being prepared, so in real life.
There is so much public scandal and deceit that more and more, people feel like they can be cheated. That no one is really who they claim to be. With too much exposure comes too much room for interpretation. It will be difficult to ever regain control again.
Back in the day, scandals were not blown open as often. Celebrities had handlers, PR agents, and assistants who worked hard to protect their public images. Famous people, stay off that Twitter if you cannot control yourself!
I do think that I would be happier if I lived 100 years ago. I am not into all of the minute by minute correspondence and I love dresses and really supportive undergarments. I would rather show my friends a photo book in person that an album online. But, I try to not be such a crotchety old lady......
Even though I just want to sit alone with some lemonade, cookies, and a typewriter while I create a letter to send an old friend via snail mail.
Sometimes I dream I could send my iPhone to space while I sail to a deserted island, but then I hop on the gossip sites and whisper "hypocrite" to myself just like Gretchen does when she speaks of Vicki.
Showing posts with label Celebs. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Celebs. Show all posts
Wednesday, August 28, 2013
Friday, June 21, 2013
What's In A Name?
I have been anxiously awaiting Kim K. and Kanye's baby name announcement.....because I am cool like that. Smartie Best Friend and I made guesses over text a few weeks ago and let me tell you, we weren't that far of the map.
It has been reported...and I say reported because we all know those krazy Kardashians like to milk their "news" for every last cent, so things can be subject to change for baby if the story sells and IT WILL SELL...
Let us say hello to their newest bundle of joy...
Baby North West......
OY.
A litte part of me died there.
I know celebs....being above us common folks and all (eye roll) have the "power" and influence to name their kids whatever they want: Apple, Pilot Inspektor, Moonunit, and Diva Thin Muffin (for reals, for reals....)
I have been dreaming up my baby names for the last 10 years.....I know, I know. But, I am not the gal who knows her wedding colors, but I do know my baby names....I really like to put my own cart WAY in front of my horse.
My baby names have changed over the years and with each relationship I have had. At this time, if Crush and I make it to babies...well, my names will be traditional and southern and I know people will hear them and they will scrunch up their noses and say, "really?" perhaps, and I am cool with that.
Southern names are just different.....I remember laughing at some of Smartie Best Friend's childhood pals names because they were SO SOUTHERN and now, well, it is just par for the course for me these days.
Different regions, religions, family traditions, and preference all shape the baby name. Sometimes I will hear a name that a family member or friend names their little blessing and I will be surprised initially, but the name always grows on me because I feel that a good person makes a good name.
Sometimes, I know this is a familiar thing.....if you dislike someone, regardless of your opinion on the name, you will start disliking the name, too. It is natural.
So, North West....well, perhaps they will come up with a little nickname like "Nori, Nonnie, or NWow.
Time will tell there and I am sure North will be welcome to play with Audio Science.
It has been reported...and I say reported because we all know those krazy Kardashians like to milk their "news" for every last cent, so things can be subject to change for baby if the story sells and IT WILL SELL...
Let us say hello to their newest bundle of joy...
Baby North West......
OY.
A litte part of me died there.
I know celebs....being above us common folks and all (eye roll) have the "power" and influence to name their kids whatever they want: Apple, Pilot Inspektor, Moonunit, and Diva Thin Muffin (for reals, for reals....)
I have been dreaming up my baby names for the last 10 years.....I know, I know. But, I am not the gal who knows her wedding colors, but I do know my baby names....I really like to put my own cart WAY in front of my horse.
My baby names have changed over the years and with each relationship I have had. At this time, if Crush and I make it to babies...well, my names will be traditional and southern and I know people will hear them and they will scrunch up their noses and say, "really?" perhaps, and I am cool with that.
Southern names are just different.....I remember laughing at some of Smartie Best Friend's childhood pals names because they were SO SOUTHERN and now, well, it is just par for the course for me these days.
Different regions, religions, family traditions, and preference all shape the baby name. Sometimes I will hear a name that a family member or friend names their little blessing and I will be surprised initially, but the name always grows on me because I feel that a good person makes a good name.
Sometimes, I know this is a familiar thing.....if you dislike someone, regardless of your opinion on the name, you will start disliking the name, too. It is natural.
So, North West....well, perhaps they will come up with a little nickname like "Nori, Nonnie, or NWow.
Time will tell there and I am sure North will be welcome to play with Audio Science.
Sunday, September 23, 2012
Binge Free: Day 6
Hmmmmm.....today was less than the best, but it was still okay.....I had all three meals out as it was busy busy, I also got a bit overwhelmed thinking about what I had to do rather than doing what I had to do and ate pretzels and a granola bar for absolutely no reason other than the fact that I had them in my purse from 2010. At least I am being mindful that I did it. 2,500 calories which included bagels, Thai food, and some pizza. Not starving here. Sweet dreams, I fear that I am going to have another creepy sex dream and now that I said it, I bet it will be with Steve Buscemi or something...
Drunkorexic
Drunkorexia is another "new craze" that has been around forever.... I won't claim to be the founder, but I was definitely in the club for about 9 years (age 20 - 29)....I mean, you can't do the horrible things I did and said without some booze rattling the already messed up mind.
I started college a bit fluffy (word we like to call chubby in my circle) for me. I was looking sleek senior year, but then I had a very bad accident summer before college which left me in bed isolating myself and drinking milkshakes.
Then, OY, the Freshman 40 happened. I mean, I started college as a perfectly fluffy size 12 (up from a no-hipped 10) and ballooned to a size 16 by Xmas break. This was brought to you exclusively by rounds at the dining hall (like 4 plates full at each meal as we later found out, the ring leader of the "eating team" was actually bulimic....R&F in college = TOTAL dumb ass), drinking every night, and pizza breadsticks at 3am (ROCK BOTTOM INVOLVED TEQUILA, BREADSTICKS, PEE, VOMIT, BED, ALONE).
ALSO, if you are going to college, invest $10.00 and buy a full-length mirror from Wal-Mart. I did not have one in my college dorm room and I remember coming home on break and looking in the mirror and thinking "who is this person?" when I saw that I had eaten my former self. Also, true story, my friends and I all got fat (I do believe I gained the most weight...WINNING HERE) freshman year and we developed this lie, this notion, that we weren't fat, it was actually the mirror's fault (fuck you, you, you, mirrrrrrooooorrrrrrrrr!). The term "fat mirror" was coined to help us deal with our excessive fatness and I truly believed most of the time that I looked HOT, it was the fun house mirror at Express lying to me.
Did I digress again? You know it!!!
Back to Drunkorexia......well, by summer going into junior year, I was done with the excuses. I wanted to be a girl of the year 2000 and wear backless tops, show my nipples and sideboob, stuff myself into some black pants, and perhaps even a baby-tee that showed my navel. I wanted to be my own version of She's All That, only my metamorphosis wouldn't be from nerd to hot, it would be from fat to thin. Also and most importantly, I heard that someone who I considered a friend had nicknamed me something that had to do with a huge zoo animal.
So, I enrolled in WeightWatchers, just like Jessica Simpson. Only I did it more than a decade before her, so I am cooler (actually, I LOVE her for real, so she is way cooler, always! I wish her weight loss as I know this all must be so hard for her and those daisy dukes are like a size minus zero and I was never ever a size minus zero). Only my "version" of WeightWatchers involved eating as many zero points foods as I could (sugar free jello, asparagus, broccoli, lettuce, diet soda) and then drinking my points. So, I would eat 27 points a day made up of this: 2 points for egg whites, 0 points for sugar free jello and lettuce, and 25 points for green apple vodka. WHOOOOOT! Get it girl, you can count! I lost 39.5 pounds in just under 4 months and actually maintained that loss give or take about 7 pounds for the rest of college. I also farted like a machine, reeked of asparagus pee, and got all my energy from Diet Cherry Pepsi and Parliament Lights. I basically was Tara Reid.
After college, I did begin to eat as there were yummy restaurants to try and paychecks to not save. Anytime I knew I would be drinking though (which was often), I restricted my calories to less than 500 or so in an attempt to get drunk really fast and have calories to soak up the booze with late night food (pizzas, say what!?).
Even though I am not down too much, I look so much better booze-free. I am less puffy and bloated and I have eyes now, not just 2 little slits that rest in my face that are red and blood-shot.
I am so surprised that WeightWatchers never asked me to be an official spokesperson.....
I started college a bit fluffy (word we like to call chubby in my circle) for me. I was looking sleek senior year, but then I had a very bad accident summer before college which left me in bed isolating myself and drinking milkshakes.
Then, OY, the Freshman 40 happened. I mean, I started college as a perfectly fluffy size 12 (up from a no-hipped 10) and ballooned to a size 16 by Xmas break. This was brought to you exclusively by rounds at the dining hall (like 4 plates full at each meal as we later found out, the ring leader of the "eating team" was actually bulimic....R&F in college = TOTAL dumb ass), drinking every night, and pizza breadsticks at 3am (ROCK BOTTOM INVOLVED TEQUILA, BREADSTICKS, PEE, VOMIT, BED, ALONE).
ALSO, if you are going to college, invest $10.00 and buy a full-length mirror from Wal-Mart. I did not have one in my college dorm room and I remember coming home on break and looking in the mirror and thinking "who is this person?" when I saw that I had eaten my former self. Also, true story, my friends and I all got fat (I do believe I gained the most weight...WINNING HERE) freshman year and we developed this lie, this notion, that we weren't fat, it was actually the mirror's fault (fuck you, you, you, mirrrrrrooooorrrrrrrrr!). The term "fat mirror" was coined to help us deal with our excessive fatness and I truly believed most of the time that I looked HOT, it was the fun house mirror at Express lying to me.
Did I digress again? You know it!!!
Back to Drunkorexia......well, by summer going into junior year, I was done with the excuses. I wanted to be a girl of the year 2000 and wear backless tops, show my nipples and sideboob, stuff myself into some black pants, and perhaps even a baby-tee that showed my navel. I wanted to be my own version of She's All That, only my metamorphosis wouldn't be from nerd to hot, it would be from fat to thin. Also and most importantly, I heard that someone who I considered a friend had nicknamed me something that had to do with a huge zoo animal.
So, I enrolled in WeightWatchers, just like Jessica Simpson. Only I did it more than a decade before her, so I am cooler (actually, I LOVE her for real, so she is way cooler, always! I wish her weight loss as I know this all must be so hard for her and those daisy dukes are like a size minus zero and I was never ever a size minus zero). Only my "version" of WeightWatchers involved eating as many zero points foods as I could (sugar free jello, asparagus, broccoli, lettuce, diet soda) and then drinking my points. So, I would eat 27 points a day made up of this: 2 points for egg whites, 0 points for sugar free jello and lettuce, and 25 points for green apple vodka. WHOOOOOT! Get it girl, you can count! I lost 39.5 pounds in just under 4 months and actually maintained that loss give or take about 7 pounds for the rest of college. I also farted like a machine, reeked of asparagus pee, and got all my energy from Diet Cherry Pepsi and Parliament Lights. I basically was Tara Reid.
After college, I did begin to eat as there were yummy restaurants to try and paychecks to not save. Anytime I knew I would be drinking though (which was often), I restricted my calories to less than 500 or so in an attempt to get drunk really fast and have calories to soak up the booze with late night food (pizzas, say what!?).
Even though I am not down too much, I look so much better booze-free. I am less puffy and bloated and I have eyes now, not just 2 little slits that rest in my face that are red and blood-shot.
I am so surprised that WeightWatchers never asked me to be an official spokesperson.....
More Dreams
I woke up in the middle of the night again last night and I ate a few snacks....pretzels and cookies. It is such an automatic reflex, it isn't even something I notice until I am in the middle of doing it. I know how this whole eating at night thing started.....
When I drank to excess in years past, I would often wake up in the middle of the night dehydrated and when I mustered up enough strength, I would stumble to the kitchen and slam soda (always diet) and carby snacks, so I wouldn't puke. Often the bubbles and bread helped and I would wake up feeling like shit, just not like total shit. I always wrote these calories off as an absolute necessity (so they didn't ever count) because I mean, I would puke if I didn't eat them, so they were crucial (perhaps I shouldn't have been drinking to puketown....hmmmmmm)
Then, I was taking sleeping pills for a while when I first went on my anxiety medicine. I am afraid of the dark (I still am, but I am working through it) and coupled with my anxiety, I went through a phase a few years ago when I didn't sleep for months....perhaps 3-4 hours a day max and it wasn't always at nighttime. The good news, I had Bravo, Lifetime, MTV, VH1, Oxygen and my absolute favorite WE, so I could be constantly entertained by quality programming in the wee hours of the morning.
The sleeping pills, unleashed the eating monster in me. Rooooooaaaaaaaarrrrrrrr. I would sleep eat and be just consciousness enough to not choke, but it wasn't fun and I stopped taking the sleeping pills very soon after I woke up with a half eaten Lean Pocket (meatball and marinara flavor, HIGHLY RECOMMENDED) stuck to the back of my pajama pants. Reality check.
One of the advantages, there were a few, to dating Awful, was that I slept. I slept because he had the side of the bed by the door, he had a security system, he owned several guns (many collectables and serious rifles), and he had a sure shot that could rival Annie Oakley. I mean Awful did have some talent....he could have seriously shot a pea right through the middle from 50 yards away. When I once saw him slay some birds, I had very mixed feelings of being impressed and being appalled. Contradiction he was, blue-blooded WASP democrat who killed baby animals....I digress, I digress again and again and again....
I can admit this now, one of the reasons I stayed with Awful was becausehis parents had a summer house, he had a boat, he owned a home in an expensive city, I slept. I really slept, like black out slept sober, and it was something after years of not sleeping, that I really needed. I do look forward to one day sharing a bed with a non-Awful because though I hate to snuggle and I am a hot sleeper (I like really cold sleeping quarters, cannot be confined by top sheets, and socks while sleeping is my version of hell), I do love the company of another warm body in a big cozy bed in a very chilly room.
My dream last night involved Dunbar from the Real World: Sidney. It was brought to my attention that Dummy Bear (what all those cool MTVers call him) did some porn and I may have watched the clip (if you find it, SO NSFW obviously) and I will never get those 6 minutes of my life back even though sometimes (shhhhhhh) I do enjoy me some erotic film. Being intimate with Dunbar in my dream made me feel like I was in college and whereas I like that feeling most of the time, I do remember being in some pretty bad sexy situations that I walked right into without knowing how to get out..one of them is that I was had sex with someone like on three separate occasions (I have been told) and I do not remember any one of those occasions.....I mean NOT good and I am SO lucky.
Being naked in my dream with Dunbar felt a bit like that.
Also, then I went to Starbucks in my dream and ordered a vanilla latte and forgot to say nonfat and then I thought they gave me whole milk even through I do believe the default is now 2% and then I never even got to drink that fattening delicious latte because my nephew came into my bed screaming "Rowseeeeeeeee" at 5am with really bad morning breath (I never knew 2 year olds can have terrible morning breath) because I must admit that I do a killer rendition of Ring Around the Rosie complete with a tickle-pickle (I made this genius up myself) breakdown that comes immediately after we all fall down.
Talent people, talent.
When I drank to excess in years past, I would often wake up in the middle of the night dehydrated and when I mustered up enough strength, I would stumble to the kitchen and slam soda (always diet) and carby snacks, so I wouldn't puke. Often the bubbles and bread helped and I would wake up feeling like shit, just not like total shit. I always wrote these calories off as an absolute necessity (so they didn't ever count) because I mean, I would puke if I didn't eat them, so they were crucial (perhaps I shouldn't have been drinking to puketown....hmmmmmm)
Then, I was taking sleeping pills for a while when I first went on my anxiety medicine. I am afraid of the dark (I still am, but I am working through it) and coupled with my anxiety, I went through a phase a few years ago when I didn't sleep for months....perhaps 3-4 hours a day max and it wasn't always at nighttime. The good news, I had Bravo, Lifetime, MTV, VH1, Oxygen and my absolute favorite WE, so I could be constantly entertained by quality programming in the wee hours of the morning.
The sleeping pills, unleashed the eating monster in me. Rooooooaaaaaaaarrrrrrrr. I would sleep eat and be just consciousness enough to not choke, but it wasn't fun and I stopped taking the sleeping pills very soon after I woke up with a half eaten Lean Pocket (meatball and marinara flavor, HIGHLY RECOMMENDED) stuck to the back of my pajama pants. Reality check.
One of the advantages, there were a few, to dating Awful, was that I slept. I slept because he had the side of the bed by the door, he had a security system, he owned several guns (many collectables and serious rifles), and he had a sure shot that could rival Annie Oakley. I mean Awful did have some talent....he could have seriously shot a pea right through the middle from 50 yards away. When I once saw him slay some birds, I had very mixed feelings of being impressed and being appalled. Contradiction he was, blue-blooded WASP democrat who killed baby animals....I digress, I digress again and again and again....
I can admit this now, one of the reasons I stayed with Awful was because
My dream last night involved Dunbar from the Real World: Sidney. It was brought to my attention that Dummy Bear (what all those cool MTVers call him) did some porn and I may have watched the clip (if you find it, SO NSFW obviously) and I will never get those 6 minutes of my life back even though sometimes (shhhhhhh) I do enjoy me some erotic film. Being intimate with Dunbar in my dream made me feel like I was in college and whereas I like that feeling most of the time, I do remember being in some pretty bad sexy situations that I walked right into without knowing how to get out..one of them is that I was had sex with someone like on three separate occasions (I have been told) and I do not remember any one of those occasions.....I mean NOT good and I am SO lucky.
Being naked in my dream with Dunbar felt a bit like that.
Also, then I went to Starbucks in my dream and ordered a vanilla latte and forgot to say nonfat and then I thought they gave me whole milk even through I do believe the default is now 2% and then I never even got to drink that fattening delicious latte because my nephew came into my bed screaming "Rowseeeeeeeee" at 5am with really bad morning breath (I never knew 2 year olds can have terrible morning breath) because I must admit that I do a killer rendition of Ring Around the Rosie complete with a tickle-pickle (I made this genius up myself) breakdown that comes immediately after we all fall down.
Talent people, talent.
Saturday, September 22, 2012
Think Pink
Like the rockstar. I never liked Pink until very recently. When she first came out, she felt too white trash (Real Housewives of NY really reintroduced this word back into pop culture) for me and she also looked just like this girl I worked with in college who I really liked, but my bff got into a fight with her mom (yes, her mom was like 15 years older than her and would attend college parties) and that always tainted Pink the artist for me because she made me think of the time my bff fought with a 35 drunk women violently and to this day, no one knows why they didn't get along....
I digress, naturally. Well, these days, I really like Pink. I view her as a person who can be in the limelight and not be stuck on being perfect. Her tunes have a good beat and make you feel really strong and all girl power and rock a perfect 8 count for exercise class, thanks Pink!
I also like how Pink always makes fun of the Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, Kim Kardashian set (I spared Nicole Ritchie because I think she recently found her soul) and people always side with Pink....like these chicks are vapid confused lost little girls.....because being in the limelight is very delicate if you aren't tough. Amanda Bynes, I am looking at you. Thank you bff and MTV for not allowing me on the Real World. Ready and Fading would have looked worse than Stephen who hit Irene on Real World: Seattle....I digress, again.
The other thing I like about Pink is her husband, Carey Hart. I have a thing for extreme sports guys....like I love me a tattoo sleeve (I really shouldn't because I am Jewish and Jewish people aren't "supposed" to have tattoos, perhaps mostly I have learned because Jewish grandmothers don't like them and in reality what they say is really the law) and a flexible man doing moronic things on board or bike is just sexy....like yum. I like all the extreme guys (just not Shaun White because I don't like red hair yet I always date debatable red heads...)....I like Jonny Moseley, TJ Lavin, even Jesse Csincsak (I cannot believe I admitted that, DeAnna Pappas, you are a fool)....I even once made out with a very sexy extreme man who I promise to tell you about sometime.....epic night, Denver 2009, WHOOT! I digress a third time....oy oy oy, I think Carey is cool because he lets Pink write songs about him and he is a good sport and that is the real key.....going with the flow. I am happy Pink and Carey have worked it out, Willow Hart is lucky even though she shares the same first name first as Willow Smith (whip that hair!).
I digress, naturally. Well, these days, I really like Pink. I view her as a person who can be in the limelight and not be stuck on being perfect. Her tunes have a good beat and make you feel really strong and all girl power and rock a perfect 8 count for exercise class, thanks Pink!
I also like how Pink always makes fun of the Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, Kim Kardashian set (I spared Nicole Ritchie because I think she recently found her soul) and people always side with Pink....like these chicks are vapid confused lost little girls.....because being in the limelight is very delicate if you aren't tough. Amanda Bynes, I am looking at you. Thank you bff and MTV for not allowing me on the Real World. Ready and Fading would have looked worse than Stephen who hit Irene on Real World: Seattle....I digress, again.
The other thing I like about Pink is her husband, Carey Hart. I have a thing for extreme sports guys....like I love me a tattoo sleeve (I really shouldn't because I am Jewish and Jewish people aren't "supposed" to have tattoos, perhaps mostly I have learned because Jewish grandmothers don't like them and in reality what they say is really the law) and a flexible man doing moronic things on board or bike is just sexy....like yum. I like all the extreme guys (just not Shaun White because I don't like red hair yet I always date debatable red heads...)....I like Jonny Moseley, TJ Lavin, even Jesse Csincsak (I cannot believe I admitted that, DeAnna Pappas, you are a fool)....I even once made out with a very sexy extreme man who I promise to tell you about sometime.....epic night, Denver 2009, WHOOT! I digress a third time....oy oy oy, I think Carey is cool because he lets Pink write songs about him and he is a good sport and that is the real key.....going with the flow. I am happy Pink and Carey have worked it out, Willow Hart is lucky even though she shares the same first name first as Willow Smith (whip that hair!).
Gaga for Gaga
I have always liked me some Gaga. For a variety of reasons, but mostly because she has always owned her reality, yes the very weird reality she has created for herself, it is 100% hers....
Now, she has put on some poundage. About 25 lbs on her little frame. And you know what, she owns it. She put it on by eating, by eating pizza and pasta. Shit happens.
It puts it all into perspective. When you "so what" something, it becomes less of a big deal.
Now, she has put on some poundage. About 25 lbs on her little frame. And you know what, she owns it. She put it on by eating, by eating pizza and pasta. Shit happens.
It puts it all into perspective. When you "so what" something, it becomes less of a big deal.
These Are My Confessions
I'm not Usher.
No, for real, I did get up in the middle of the night and eat some cookies mindlessly and then I stuffed a few chocolates in and then I didn't rebrush me teeth and then I woke up drooling chocolate. It happened. I logged the calories, 370.......and I have moved on. This is an accomplishment in itself. I am not going to be all or nothing anymore. 370 calories will not define the final results in a year....baby steps, one bite at a time. It all went into my calorie tracker as "Late Night Snack Attack."
Perhaps I woke up and needed some sweets because I had a sex dream about Ted Danson. I mean, WTF? I never even considered him sexy, but after last night....whew, silver fox rocked my world. He has very strong shoulders and hands if you are wondering. He is also tall (in my dreams), lives in a rustic Colorado home, with beautiful showers, a kind size bed with bedding so soft you may be rolling around in a cloud, toilets that talk and wash your lady parts, and a full-time security staff lead by Mase (like P Ditty's former sidekick from 1998).....Also, I dreamt about Friends Ted Danson, not Three Men in a Baby Ted Danson, and not current Ted Danson who is starting to look a little too much like my dad for normal purposes........and gag.
No, for real, I did get up in the middle of the night and eat some cookies mindlessly and then I stuffed a few chocolates in and then I didn't rebrush me teeth and then I woke up drooling chocolate. It happened. I logged the calories, 370.......and I have moved on. This is an accomplishment in itself. I am not going to be all or nothing anymore. 370 calories will not define the final results in a year....baby steps, one bite at a time. It all went into my calorie tracker as "Late Night Snack Attack."
Perhaps I woke up and needed some sweets because I had a sex dream about Ted Danson. I mean, WTF? I never even considered him sexy, but after last night....whew, silver fox rocked my world. He has very strong shoulders and hands if you are wondering. He is also tall (in my dreams), lives in a rustic Colorado home, with beautiful showers, a kind size bed with bedding so soft you may be rolling around in a cloud, toilets that talk and wash your lady parts, and a full-time security staff lead by Mase (like P Ditty's former sidekick from 1998).....Also, I dreamt about Friends Ted Danson, not Three Men in a Baby Ted Danson, and not current Ted Danson who is starting to look a little too much like my dad for normal purposes........and gag.
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
Cat Marnell
I am oddly fascinated by Cat Marnell. I love me a good drug story. I have been captivated by a few great addiction memoirs, my favorite of late is More, Now, Again: A Memoir of Addiction by Elizabeth Wurtzel. I couldn't put it down on a recent vacation....it spoke to me.
I realize that like these gals, I also have a serious addictive personality and I am constantly teetering on the edge of truly going over....my personal need of self acceptance is the only thing that keeps me upright. Cat Marnell says that she is going to write a book and I really hope she does, I will be first in line to buy it.
I find Cat to be cool for many reasons I am not: she lives in NYC, she is open about ALL of her issues (she wasn't always, but now she is!), she is beautiful, she is skinny (too skinny, like sickly skinny, but she is scared of being fat and will not allow herself to get past a certain weight), she has awesome clothes, she hangs out with lots of cool accomplished artsy people (many also fellow druggies), she does not care about what anyone thinks, she is borderline famous, she has ridiculous beauty protects and gets them for free, and she lives a life that she seems to have little regret about. She is so glam, I kinda want to be her, but without all the addiction because I know how much addiction sucks.
Cat wrote for XOJane before she eliminated herself and you can really discover her voice and personal struggles at Vice where she writes a column that may be done here real soon, I hope not, but sister needs time to finish that book I mentioned.
All of a sudden, Cat has become rather famous and I am not the only person oddly intrigued. I try to separate my emotions....am I jealous of her, or is this all fun at her expense? I have yet to figure it out, but I will say I do a daily google search about her and I am always happy when something new comes up......I wish her all that she wants in this world, whatever that may be.
The internet surely enables a girl crush, even one on the opposite coast.
I realize that like these gals, I also have a serious addictive personality and I am constantly teetering on the edge of truly going over....my personal need of self acceptance is the only thing that keeps me upright. Cat Marnell says that she is going to write a book and I really hope she does, I will be first in line to buy it.
I find Cat to be cool for many reasons I am not: she lives in NYC, she is open about ALL of her issues (she wasn't always, but now she is!), she is beautiful, she is skinny (too skinny, like sickly skinny, but she is scared of being fat and will not allow herself to get past a certain weight), she has awesome clothes, she hangs out with lots of cool accomplished artsy people (many also fellow druggies), she does not care about what anyone thinks, she is borderline famous, she has ridiculous beauty protects and gets them for free, and she lives a life that she seems to have little regret about. She is so glam, I kinda want to be her, but without all the addiction because I know how much addiction sucks.
Cat wrote for XOJane before she eliminated herself and you can really discover her voice and personal struggles at Vice where she writes a column that may be done here real soon, I hope not, but sister needs time to finish that book I mentioned.
All of a sudden, Cat has become rather famous and I am not the only person oddly intrigued. I try to separate my emotions....am I jealous of her, or is this all fun at her expense? I have yet to figure it out, but I will say I do a daily google search about her and I am always happy when something new comes up......I wish her all that she wants in this world, whatever that may be.
The internet surely enables a girl crush, even one on the opposite coast.
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