Salad and Spinning and Wedding Planning

I am trying to get into shape.

There have been many salads.  Lots of Spinning.  Even salad spinning. The wedding planning.  Well, I must admit, it is one of my strengths.

Sadly, my engagement ring has not been the same equivalent to getting my jaw wired, like I hoped it would be. DANG.  Eating is still a struggle, but the good news is that it has been a TON easier since I moved to Charleston.  I am so much less stressed that I am not turning to food emotionally like I used to.

My future husband has an amazing metabolism.  He is lucky this way.  He has no idea about nutrition and eating healthily.  NO CLUE.  For example:

R&F: "Hi sweets, what did you have for lunch today?"

Crush: "I ate really healthy foods.  Fried chicken, creamed spinach and fried green tomatoes."

R&F: "How is any of that healthy?"

Crush: "Chicken, spinach and tomatoes are all healthy!'

Unlike me, Crush never learned how to read a menu for healthy clues (thanks, WeightWatchers!), never sat around a cafeteria lunch table in the 5th grade and talked about who had the lowest fat and calorie meal (thanks, North Shore Girls raised by mothers with rampant eating disorders!) and never saw a nutritionist and an eating therapist to change his eating habits (thanks for real, the wonderful professionals who are helping me!).

And yet, with his COMPLETE lack of food knowledge, Crush still has a WAY better relationship with food than I do.  He simply eats when he is hungry and stops when he is full.  I wish I could do that consistently.

Having Crush around often really helps me focus on eating better.  We have started to eat most of our breakfasts and suppers together and I find that when I am cooking for someone else and not just for myself, I put extra effort into making my meals balanced, yummy and satisfying.  Crush wants to eat better and I want to lose weight, so I have been preparing calorie friendly meals full of lean proteins and fresh fruits and veggies.  Crush has of course already lost 6 pounds in a few weeks whereas I have lost perhaps a few ounces.  All of my yo-yo dieting in the past has slowed my metabolism, but I feel so much better and now fit into most of my wardrobe again, so I will take it.

The wedding planning is fully underway and our first goal for hotness health takes place in February when we will take our engagement photos.  It just so happens that our wedding photographer who lives in Chicago will be in Charleston for another wedding he is shooting, so he is going to snap a few shots of us when he is in town.  I am super excited to have Charleston engagement photos and Chicago wedding photos (yup, I decided to tie the knot in the Windy City as truthfully, it is a great city and I love to visit it, I just HATED living there!).

I have found that all of the wedding planning has been super easy thus far and these awesome little coincidences keep happening which make me feel like in many ways, everything about this wedding is simply meant to be!  In less than 2 weeks, I have my venue, officiant, ceremony musicians, band for the reception, after party DJ, florist, photographer, hair and makeup artists, rehearsal dinner venue and hotel room blocks. When I return to Chicago in a few weeks for a wedding I am working, I will do my save the dates and invitations.  I will say, I know the best vendors in Chicago and I have gotten a bird's eye perspective about how they all work, so selecting them was SUPER easy.  I am just so happy that they were all available!  I keep thinking....if my clients actually listened to me (some do, many don't and then they don't get the best product and services), they too could have their weddings planned quickly!  Everyone likes to do things differently, but there is nothing I love more than making a list and crossing it off!

Hope all is well out there and Happy Thursday!

Older

Lately, I feel older.  Not old, just older.

I am not upset about my age, 32.  Sometimes, I get a bit miffed and depressed that I am not married, that I am childless, and that I am not a homeowner.  But, I know that I am a late bloomer and I always have been.  Often I get my good a bit later that most, but it is always worth the wait.

I feel old because my body and what I can tolerate are changing.

No longer can I be on my feet for 2 days straight without my back hurting a bit.  I can't have 3 dirty martinis (my favorite) without a SEVERE hangover.  I feel it when I don't workout.  Fast food makes me bloated, tired, and miserable.  Less than 7 hours of sleep creates HUGE under eye bags and a piss poor attitude.

I was once so resilient and I didn't even know it.

Back in the day, I could slam a fifth of Jim Beam and wake up and work a double shift at 2 different jobs the very next day.  I could eat an entire pizza and drink 8 cans of diet soda in 1 afternoon without even a belch.  I could sleep 2 hours a night for 3 weeks straight and look adorable and not have a mental breakdown.

And yet, I am not at all upset about my older status.

I like how my body is checking me.  Telling me that I must make smart decisions or I will feel it.  I know that if I skip the gym, eat dirty, or miss my sleep...well, I won't be the best me and I like the me I am becoming now, so I am making better decisions.

Long gone are the days of cigarettes, Big Macs (I am still craving 1 from time to time), bottles (glasses are okay) of wine, and 3 1/2 hours of sleep.  I am not sad about this.  I am actually very happy that I am figuring out what my body needs now and I am quickly learning how to listen to her.

Prior to this year, I never had a mind body connection.  I couldn't stop eating when I was full, I couldn't go to sleep when I was tired, and I couldn't workout to relieve my stress.....I just didn't get what I needed to make me feel good.

So, this is progress.  Listening to my inner voice to make the best choices for me.

And as my age goes up, hopefully the scale will go down.

Birth OUT OF Control

I went off my birth control pills 2 weeks ago.

I feel SO MUCH BETTER.

I have been on and off birth control since I was 18 years old.

I have never felt quite right on it.

After Awful and I broke up and I made my pilgrimage home, I went off of it and in a few months, I did feel a bit better, but I didn't connect it.  I was simply in a better place for me emotionally, so everything felt better, birth control or not.

In October, when things started to get serious with Crush, I went back on it.

This time, the change was very clear to me.  I felt like every little thing was setting me off.  My emotions were ALL over the place.  I was picking fights with Crush on a daily basis.  He kept asking me, "is everything alright?" and it was and it wasn't all at the same time.

The birth control elevated my anxiety and I also put on some new pounds...but I am not sure that it was directly related as I was binging a lot and often...but, I was feeling very hungry.  I felt super tired.  I felt like I was viewing life from behind a veil.

A few months ago, Smartie Best Friend mentioned that when she was on birth control, everything upset her and she just didn't feel like herself on it.

LIGHT BULB.

I called my doctor and she explained that sometimes, it takes a few different tries on several different types of birth control to see what works best.  I knew this and didn't feel like taking any for a while, so I ended my pill pack and now I am taking a BC vacay.  I am not seeing Crush until August and condoms are fine for now.....I am so stressed out with everything going on, I don't have any lusty feelings in me anyway.

I think my body just doesn't deal with hormones well.

Anyone else feel this way?