Row Row Row My Boat

I hope everyone had an excellent weekend!

I will be back to blogging with a vengeance soon, I am busy busy wrapping up things around here and getting ready to move in 5 weeks!  WEEKS!

I have some posts ready to go to POST as soon as I leave this little big city behind and let me tell you that I have been waiting months to get a few things off of my chest, so they are coming....I look forward to the relief I will have when I can get it ALL out.  Bonus, that they are juicy and entertaining (and personally mortifying) reads.

I wanted to share something that even I cannot believe I tried....the rowing machine at the gym*.  For years, I just looked at it as something that I couldn't do and walked past those rowers and never gave trying one a chance.  The other day when I was so bored of all of the other cardio equipment I typically use and was contemplating leaving the gym after 2 minutes (no exaggeration) on the treadmill, I scanned the machines and my eyes met the rower and I thought..."what the hell?!" and I hopped on and well.........

And....well, I love it!

I love it so much that I have blisters on my hands.  Even though I have been working a ton, I have found the precious time to get my tush to the gym very early in the morning and on the rower just because I think it is really fun, relaxing, methodical, and I can feel the burn.

I recently decided that the elliptical just isn't enough of a workout the way I like to do it.  Bouncing around while watching E! is fun, but not enough of a burn.  I don't see any results.  I don't feel sore.  I need the burn.

So, the rower.  Well, all I can say is that my core is getting the workout that is has always craved and that I am too lazy to put it through if it doesn't involve cardio.  I love the motion of it and the feeling that I am actually covering ground.  It is really a neat sensation if you have never tried it.

I love cardio and I hate strength training. I cannot wait to be in my new little apartment BY MYSELF (WHOOOOT!) so I can lift my 5 pound weights in my underwear while I watch Bravo....it is the way I finally got toned arms and thighs (after years of wishing for them and NOT ever doing anything about it!) 4 years ago, so I am willing to bet that the same recipe should work again....Real Housewives of any season is perfect to zone at to while I pump my iron.

I love the rower so much that I am researching taking lessons in my new city.  Perhaps even joining a rowing club if I find that my love translates to the open waters and not just the 2nd floor cardio circuit at my gym...we shall see.  I haven't been this excited about exercise since I fell in love with my old (circa 5 years ago) Spinning studio (my new one down South is just as good, if not better!) and I love feeling like exercise is something I LIKE to do and NOT something I HAVE to do.

I am proud that these days, I am trying new things that I always thought were off limits for no good reason.  Just because my mind once landed on "NO!" about certain experiences, doesn't mean that I can't try them...the results have been very positive thus far.

*(I apologize for writing an ENTIRE post about a rower....I mean, this is how my OBSESSION with certain things do begin...when I cannot stop thinking about something.  Currently, it is a rower.  WAY better than a Big Mac.  Progress. I do promise that you may love it, if you haven't tried it...if I can do it, ANYONE can!)

Nothing Changes IF Nothing Changes

This (blog title) is a great quote going around and one that a best friend shared with me a few days ago.

I love it.

I have been thinking about it constantly.

Simple, really.  Change brings change.

I have started to try new things.  Especially when it comes to eating and exercise.

I am down 14.2 pounds now and if I could be down 20 by the time I move (less than 6 weeks!), well, I would be really excited, but regardless, I know it will come.  I am in a good place with the eating.  I am making changes.  I have enjoyed salads the last several times I have gone out to eat and when I do splurge (like last night when I had a farewell supper with a dear college friend), I took home most of my main course (after we enjoyed appetizers) to have for lunch.  The little things are starting to add up.  I am factoring in my needs versus my wants when it comes to food.  I satisfy my cravings, but I create limits, too.  I need to in order to avoid the dreaded binge monster.

I become super lazy with my eating when my depression rolls in. I have always known what I need to do to help the scale go down, but I cannot always do it.

This time, combined with the eating therapy, I can feel my mind-frame changing.  I am able to bounce back after a bad eating day, a binge, or a shitty workout.  One meal at a time.  I am not waiting for "Monday" to begin my diet because I am not on a diet.   I have shifted my inner voice.  This is a life change for me, not a phase.

Exercise-wise, I am shaking it up and the only negative is my increased appetite! I don't mind the gym, but I tend to not push myself enough unless I take a class and the classes at my current gym SUCK.  SUCK HARD.  They start late, the instructors are always substitutes that have no idea what is going on, the regulars feel like they are entitled to "their spots" in the studio, the workouts aren't serious or well thought out....this annoys me so much, especially when it comes to Spinning which is totally dependant on the music...at my gym, the instructors play the same playlist from 2003 week after week....WHY?!  It is too stupid for words, so I avoid the needless exercise class drama.  It just so happens that I LOVE the gym AND the classes at my new gym in my new city (WHOOT!)....the Spinning studio there is so epic, I dream about it.....I am such a nerd, but it is just that good and I have attended 10 classes there thus far (during my visits) and WOW is all I can say.  

In an effort to create change, I have started to mix some running into my existing elliptical, spin bike, and weight training routine.  I started running (6.0 speed on the treadmill) 1 mile at a time and now I am up to 2.5 miles without stopping.  My goal is to be able to do 4 miles in a row without stopping by the time I move.  It is what I used to do in high school a couple days a week for my cardio workout.  It makes me feel good to know that I can still do the same things (like jog and ride a bike!) I once did over half a lifetime ago.  Since I have started running, my clothes are getting looser and I even zipped up a dress this week that I haven't been able to wear in over 10 months.  Makes me feel good.

I will be back after the weekend with posts (working this weekend!) and hope everyone had a great week!

XXX,

R&F

Isn't It Ironic?

I go to an obnoxious gym.  Suburban life at it's finest.  70 year old plastic ladies in teeny bikinis,  $100,000 luxury cars parked across 3 spaces, and juicy infidelity gossip shared at the smoothie stand that gets immediately twisted in the locker room.

Yet, I have been there a lot.  Because I need to be.  And the bonus is that I hardly know anyone there, so it is worth it to me to go somewhere annoying if I can be anonymous.

Something I find very ironic at my gym are the parking lot wars. Members circle close spots like it is Black Friday at the mall.  Aren't you there to work out?  What is a few extra steps if you plan to do an hour on the treadmill?

Last week, I witnessed a blond in a Lexus SUV and a brunette in a Range Rover get into a bitch fight over a parking spot.  Both had children under 3 in their fancy rides.  Seriously, this isn't The Real Housewives of 24 Hour Gyms....move on....move on!

I laughed at how ridiculous the entire situation was and parked in the furthest spot possible.  Then I walked right by the fight on my way in, so I could here the ridiculous rants of, "move your car because I was here FIIIIIIRRRSSSSTTTTT" to remind myself that people like this are morons and I never want to become one.

Ever since then, I have been parking far away when I visit anywhere with a huge parking lot.

I decided that the extra steps and avoiding drama are both positives.....but if you decide to get into a public fight...I will be gawking....I love me drama from afar.

We All Have Issues

I have been so MIA.  Just working.  It is SUPER busy with work.  I slept no more than 20 hours TOTAL last week and this is just the nature of my job some months.  Excited to hit a different pace in less than 10 weeks!

The move is creeping up and I am feeling positive.  I think I found a place to live (Crush is checking it out for me this afternoon) and the resume is all updated and ready to send.  I have been making healthy food choices (for the most part) and trying to get to the gym when I can.  This last week was all about work and the next 3 will be as well, but when I can, I am popping by the gym to get in some quick cardio.  At the very least, it helps with my depression and psoriasis (so not sexy!).

So, I lost another pound.  I am staring the almost 10 pound mark in the eye and I know this time is the real time.  Big changes for me are being worked on a daily basis.  I am eating real food for the first time in my life and losing weight.  I don't want to lose the weight eating only Lean Cuisines, butter spray, and diet soda.  And I say this because several times that I lost weight it was because I did it with all diet products and fake foods.  I feel good.  People have been telling me how beautiful my skin is (my face skin as I still have psoriasis a bit on the arms and knees, but it is improving) and it has been years since I have heard this.  I am wearing far less makeup and I am feeling attractive.  I guess no soda, lots of fruits and veggies, less junk, and minimal booze does make me better looking.  I never said I wasn't vain.

Today, after my WW meeting, I hopped over to the gym for a quick cardio session.  I have a few gym pet peeves:

1.  Why do all women under 25 wear underpants to the gym as shorts?  What is up with those booty biter teeny gym daisy dukes?  I mean, butt cheeks and vaginas should not be exposed while on the elliptical.  I thought camel toes were not a fashion statement when they can be avoided....Some gals have the figure for it and some don't and I am not even hating on that (BECAUSE I DO NOT HAVE THE FIGURE FOR THEM AND WILL BE THE FIRST TO ADMIT THAT)....I just feel that it must be more comfortable to not have 2 inches of "shorts" ride up your crotch on the stair climber.

2.  Not wiping off the machine after you usees it.  This is obvious.  Don't be gross (man who is 75 and wears the cut Gold's Gym tank top with exposed sides that reach the top of your sweat pants, I am talking to you).  I wipe off my machine....now you try it too.  Can't we all just pull our own weight?  The takers of the world don't wipe machines and the givers do, I decided.

3.  Asking me when I will be done with something/standing right next to the machine I am using while I am trying to reduce my mass while sighing, tapping your foot, and staring at your watch.  Manners people!  Manners.  I get that everyone has a machine they like to use and we are all in a hurry. Be an adult, wait your turn, and plan for Plan B.  Sometimes there is someone on the spin bike with the clip in petals I like to use, so I bring regular gym shoes, too.  Because when someone is in the zone pedaling away, I don't want to tap them on the shoulder, make them drop their headphones, and ruin their concentration to ask them to please hurry (this has happened to me multiple times). When I am at the gym, I celebrate the fact that I am there.  The gym's policy is 60 minutes per machine and I follow that rule, so don't ask me to get off 3 minutes after I got on (lady with the pink exercise mini skirt....I direct this at you!).

A little more gym chat......no matter what time I am at the gym, there are always 2 different ladies there.  It dawned on me today that they have an exercise addiction.  They are both less than 100 pounds dripping wet (which they do from all the exercise), do cardio non-stop, and look like nutritionally, they aren't perhaps eating enough......sad.  It makes me so sad.  I think they compete against one another for who is there the longest and I believe they are there at least 4-6 hours a day.  Last week, I forget my headphones and went back in the afternoon between appointments and they were both still there...4 hours later, so I am not being my normal dramatic self.

I am telling you....as I go to the gym more and at infrequent times, I always see them.  Well, almost always and for the most part they are both there, but do not interact with each other.

As I pounded the treadmill, I realized, food and exercise and appearance, well, maybe most of us gals have a little something?

 I am a binge eater and they have their troubles, too.  Yes, I may weigh twice as much as they do, but I am no better and they and vice versa, we just have different issues.

And then I felt positive for me.

Because I am getting help for my issues.  I don't know their particular stories or treatment history, but I am working on improving my relationship with food now.  Presently, I am trying to improve and I am for me.

 Yes, I am 32 and not a young whippersnapper, but I am trying. Both of the gym ladies are older than me and I feel for them.  Because I know the hold food can have over life.

I have put so many things on hold because of my weight.  So many.  And for what?  Another private binge that gives me no clarity, security, or long standing happiness?!

I won't waste any more of my life destroying it because of my food addiction.