Tuesday, September 18, 2012

I Am A Hypocrite

I hate myself for this....I am a TOTAL hypocrite and I will call myself out before I allow you to.

You see, I am totally insecure and with that comes judgement.  I judge some people hard, especially the people I am jealous of.....like if you are married, rich, have a nice house, husband, or car, I may judge you, but only a little and only during "that time of the month."  I promise you with 100% honesty here...because if you can't be honest as an anonymous blogger, when can you be honest...I may even judge your comments, if you ever leave any, but I won't be mean, I am internally judgey, I am not a total asshat.

So, back to being a hypocrite, the thing is this, I feel like I can say mean things about people, but when they say bad things about me, I cry.  I feel like I can be sarcastic (and I am and I am really quick-witted and good at verbal jabs), but the minute you spar with me with words, I will tell you openly to go "f**k yourself."  You see, I am the Queen, the sometimes mean queen and your words will kill me, but I can say whatever I want.....there is a MAJOR PROBLEM HERE and the problem is ME!

Alright, so Ready and Fading, what are you going to do here?  Well, public, I already figured it out....I am going to not be such a judgey yatch.  You see, perhaps, my personality and NOT my looks is really the issue here.  Perhaps, the fact I act like a total mess is the reason I am single, not because I am chubby and have stretch marks and cellulite....so hard to conceptualize that my inside could be the problem here and not my outside....I promise you, I am mean only because I hate myself and my ex, I feel like I have to guard myself to protect my inner self, my private self, my nougat.

Now now, don't go off the handle thinking I am this wench, because I am very nice and kind and sweet, it is my jealousy and insecurity that makes me mean and I am mostly mean in my head, so at this time there is a ton of it because I am single and broke and most of my peers are neither.

I will work on being a better me and you just keep on reading.....

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Tell me your truth and I will continue to tell you mine......