Crossroads

I saw Awful's motorcycle tonight on my way to an appointment.  I knew it was his, it is a very distinct motorcycle.  I got a bit sad for a second and then a profound thought came to me......the motorcycle was parked outside of a bar.  Awful was at a bar, becoming the person he wants to be for a few hours; telling lies, impressing strangers, buying shots, and picking up tabs with his trust fund.

Later tonight, Awful will climb on the machine and put his life and the innocent lives of others at risk when he navigates his way home drunk as shit. He thinks he is untouchable, he thinks he is special, Peter fucking Pan.

You would think that Awful would learn.....he did total another motorcycle driving drunk last summer.  Of course, it wasn't his fault, it was mine.  I was the one that wanted him to come home at 4:00 am.  I am the crazy one.

I know he is going to get hurt eventually, trust me, I know.  I have tried to convince him that he is only a person, he isn't invincible.  He is no better than his friend who died of a terrible accident drunk out of his mind last winter.  Life is fragile, it isn't permanent, don't fuck with reality.

You can't change a man.