Thursday, September 20, 2012

Instant Gratification

I am all about the easy fix, the miracle, the it happened when I wasn't even trying.

Well, I got on the scale today because I get on the scale most mornings to try to convince myself not to binge and well, there was a loss!

I am down 1 pound and I am feeling very good.

I know what you must be thinking....SHUT UP BITCH!  It's water weight, you haven't had your coffee, you made a, people, this is for real because I have been stuck at the same exact number hell or high water for 3+ months because I was eating something like 2,700 (on good days) to 5,000 calories a day.  I will say, I am lucky that I could eat this many calories on the regular and stay at my very high weight and not gain (I do workout hard, so I bet this helps) was staying at the very high weight and not going over it, that was somewhat encouraging me to continue this hurtful behavior.

So, I am on my way down.  A journey I have made so many times before.  Only, this time, I am thinking, I will never see that number again.  I have never thought that before when I lost weight, I only thought, "I will be so hot when I am thin", "I will buy new jeans in a size 29", "I will tell the guy that called me fat to fuck off."

Time time, I am making the trip for me.  This is for ME.  This is for my mind.  This is so different.

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