Salad and Spinning and Wedding Planning

I am trying to get into shape.

There have been many salads.  Lots of Spinning.  Even salad spinning. The wedding planning.  Well, I must admit, it is one of my strengths.

Sadly, my engagement ring has not been the same equivalent to getting my jaw wired, like I hoped it would be. DANG.  Eating is still a struggle, but the good news is that it has been a TON easier since I moved to Charleston.  I am so much less stressed that I am not turning to food emotionally like I used to.

My future husband has an amazing metabolism.  He is lucky this way.  He has no idea about nutrition and eating healthily.  NO CLUE.  For example:

R&F: "Hi sweets, what did you have for lunch today?"

Crush: "I ate really healthy foods.  Fried chicken, creamed spinach and fried green tomatoes."

R&F: "How is any of that healthy?"

Crush: "Chicken, spinach and tomatoes are all healthy!'

Unlike me, Crush never learned how to read a menu for healthy clues (thanks, WeightWatchers!), never sat around a cafeteria lunch table in the 5th grade and talked about who had the lowest fat and calorie meal (thanks, North Shore Girls raised by mothers with rampant eating disorders!) and never saw a nutritionist and an eating therapist to change his eating habits (thanks for real, the wonderful professionals who are helping me!).

And yet, with his COMPLETE lack of food knowledge, Crush still has a WAY better relationship with food than I do.  He simply eats when he is hungry and stops when he is full.  I wish I could do that consistently.

Having Crush around often really helps me focus on eating better.  We have started to eat most of our breakfasts and suppers together and I find that when I am cooking for someone else and not just for myself, I put extra effort into making my meals balanced, yummy and satisfying.  Crush wants to eat better and I want to lose weight, so I have been preparing calorie friendly meals full of lean proteins and fresh fruits and veggies.  Crush has of course already lost 6 pounds in a few weeks whereas I have lost perhaps a few ounces.  All of my yo-yo dieting in the past has slowed my metabolism, but I feel so much better and now fit into most of my wardrobe again, so I will take it.

The wedding planning is fully underway and our first goal for hotness health takes place in February when we will take our engagement photos.  It just so happens that our wedding photographer who lives in Chicago will be in Charleston for another wedding he is shooting, so he is going to snap a few shots of us when he is in town.  I am super excited to have Charleston engagement photos and Chicago wedding photos (yup, I decided to tie the knot in the Windy City as truthfully, it is a great city and I love to visit it, I just HATED living there!).

I have found that all of the wedding planning has been super easy thus far and these awesome little coincidences keep happening which make me feel like in many ways, everything about this wedding is simply meant to be!  In less than 2 weeks, I have my venue, officiant, ceremony musicians, band for the reception, after party DJ, florist, photographer, hair and makeup artists, rehearsal dinner venue and hotel room blocks. When I return to Chicago in a few weeks for a wedding I am working, I will do my save the dates and invitations.  I will say, I know the best vendors in Chicago and I have gotten a bird's eye perspective about how they all work, so selecting them was SUPER easy.  I am just so happy that they were all available!  I keep thinking....if my clients actually listened to me (some do, many don't and then they don't get the best product and services), they too could have their weddings planned quickly!  Everyone likes to do things differently, but there is nothing I love more than making a list and crossing it off!

Hope all is well out there and Happy Thursday!

Rings and Things

The other day, I was enjoying a latte in the warm morning sun at an outdoor café after my Spinning class.   A very handsome man a bit older than me stopped in to get breakfast and started chatting me up.  I let him know that I had just moved from Chicago and he suggested some bars and restaurants I should try as well as some locations for great coffee, excellent pie and exciting live music.  He told me he was a doctor, off for the day and he planned to go for a long run in the evening once the temperature cooled as he slept much later than he anticipated after working several long shifts in the ER.

It was nearly 10 minutes into the conversation that I realized that perhaps this man was flirting with me. I glanced at his left hand and didn’t see a ring (yes, they come off!). You see, in Chicago, no one ever came up to me to chat sober.  Once in a while, a person with a penis may have asked me for directions, but never for my number. Since I turned 28, no one much looked at me at all in Chicago because my vagina, boobs, and tush were no longer on display in my “club” clothes as they once were.  Once in a while, a drunken perv may have whispered something explicit into my ear with his stale beer breath, but the truth is that I often didn’t get hit on in Chicago.  The minute I stepped outside of it, regardless of my weight status, men would approach me.  The secret I learned doesn’t have to do with looks or weight, but by how I feel.  I was never happy in Chicago, so I didn’t exude confidence.  Confidence is key.  Men love it.

Sure enough, a few topics later, Hot Doctor asked me for my number.  I realized that up until that point, my left hand had been under the table in my lap.  I then lifted it and explained that I was newly engaged to a very super special someone, but asked him for his number since he is kind, smart, a great conversationalist, successful, handsome, and tall.  He could be a great match for someone I know! 

Rings are funny this way.  They speak for you.  Help people know who may be available or taken.  Yes, it isn’t the rule, but it is helpful.

My father has never worn a wedding ring.  Funny, but Crush’s dad doesn’t either.  It is actually a relatively new tradition.  All four of our grandfathers didn't wear rings.  Unlike many other ladies, I am totally fine if Crush doesn't want to wear a ring.  I trust him and more than anything, I know my man and it is undeniable that he will lose his ring more than just a few times.  So, if he decides to wear a ring, I have already come to terms that we will be replacing it often and there will be periods of time where he won't have one.....

My feeling about rings are that they can predetermine outcomes.  Some people may forgo a chat with me now if they were wanting to get into my pants eventually, but others will still chat me up for the simple fact that they enjoy a fine morning chat as much as I do. 

When I Think of Heaven

I'm engaged!

Crush asked me last weekend and it has been an absolute whirlwind.

So much love has poured in from our families and friends, I am still waiting to connect with a few special people to share the big news.

The ring is perfect.  EXACTLY what I wanted and even more.  I thought it would take me a little time to get used to wearing my sparkles, but the truth is that I feel like it should have always been there.  From the very beginning, I felt engaged to Crush, we never really had a game playing or casual dating period.  It is nice now to feel safe expressing my feelings about Crush to everyone I meet, the ring let's me know that it is mutual.  In all of my past relationships, I felt like I was the one pushing to make it work.  That I wanted marriage more than my partner did.  Being on the same page makes the whole deal even sweeter.

I believe in heaven.  I believe in religion and spirituality and all that.  I know that some people don't and that's peachy, too.  Ideas beyond now are personal.

I was very close with my grandfather.  My dad's dad.  He passed away about 5 years ago and I have missed him every day since then.  I was in the room when he died and since, I have felt bonded to him more in his memory than I even did when he was alive.

When I was at the lowest depths of depression, I went to see a clairvoyant.  It was the BEST thing I ever did for myself. My grandfather told me to make a husband list and I did.

I have this beautiful idea that after I wrote my husband list, my grandfather received it and began walking all around heaven reading the list to anyone who would listen:

Grandpa: Merle, do you have a grandson?

Merle: Yes.

Grandpa: Is he tall, educated, and does he like music?

Merle: He is very smart, he listens to rap music, but he isn't too tall, a nice height, but 5'8" and likes little itty bitty ladies.

Grandpa: No, that won't work!
_________________________________________________________________

Grandpa: Samuel, do you have a tall, educated grandson who likes music?

Samuel: Yes.  But he is married.

Grandpa: No, that won't work!
__________________________________________________________________

Grandpa: Doris, do you have a grandson?

Doris: Why yes, I do.

Grandpa: Is he tall?  Does he like music? Did he go to college?

Doris: Yes.

Grandpa: Does he have straight teeth?  Does he respect his family?  Is he active?  Does he like to read?

Doris: Yes.

Grandpa: Does he refrain from getting drunk multiple times a week?  Is he sensitive?  Is he an independent thinker?

Doris: Yes.

Grandpa: Listen, I have a granddaughter who is really wonderful, but she is struggling trying to find a nice Jewish boy and I think your grandson could be perfect.

Doris: Dave, I wish I could help you, my grandson is such a mench, but he likes other boys and not girls.

Grandpa: No, that won't work!
__________________________________________________________________________

I think my grandfather asked everyone in heaven that he encountered about their grandsons.  He loved talking to strangers, never feared rejection, and was the least shy person I knew. Very tenacious.  The perfect matchmaker!  He would even give Patti Stanger  a run for her money.

A few weeks after I sent my husband list, Crush's grandmother died.  At this point, I think my grandfather was understanding just HOW HARD it is to meet the right guy.  I envision that out of desperation, he was now standing right next to the gates of heaven trying to snag the best matches for me ASAP.

I have a feeling that when Crush's grandmother passed through, my grandfather was shouting out grandson traits and every single soul floating by, ignored him, trying to get to their final destinations impatiently.  But, like a fine Southern lady, Crush's grandmother stopped to listen to my loud grandfather as she also wanted a match for her oldest grandson.  As one of many siblings and the only daughter in her large family, she could handle a man better than most, even a very silly and bubbly one from New York.

Mere weeks after Crush's grandmother passed,  I received my first email from Crush.  The rest is history.

Yesterday, we went to his grandmother's home.  The very home we will live in next year as a married couple.  Crush inherited her home and we plan to raise our own family there one day.

As we walked around the house making a list of what renovations we plan to make, we decided to head out to the backyard and I felt compelled to lay on my back and look up at the sky.  Crush joined me on the grass and a gentle breeze rolled in.  The same wind that I feel from time to time when I sense my grandfather is around.  It is a breeze that you can feel wrapped around you, but it is still.  It doesn't move the trees or leaves.  I screamed (Crush tolerates my crazy...BONUS!), "HI GRANDPA!!!" and tons of little birds flew into the yard tweeting.  Then, Crush yelled, "Hi, Nanny!!!" and a huge gust of wind blew in, this time blowing all of the great big shady trees in her own backyard.

As the branches swayed and the birds sang, we thanked our grandparents and I showed the sky my ring.  Then, the wind stopped suddenly and 2 tiny birdies landed at our feet. We felt the motionless breeze and they flew away, across the cloudless sky.

I didn't always believe in heaven until I met Crush.

I also didn't always believe in true love.