Wheat Free

Alright.....I am SO not into fad diets.  I have always believed that calories in and calories burned will help me lose weight.  I know that the times that I have been successful with my weight loss, it has been because of my diet mostly (or lack of because I starved myself)...the workouts help tone, but I can't eat whatever I want just because I head to the gym.

I am always looking for the easy fix.  20 years after my first diet, I am STILL trying to figure out what will work for me, it is exhausting and I am going to conquer it.  I know I will.

I am so sick of riding the weight roller coaster: restrict, binge, restrict, binge, restrict, etc.

As I shared last week, I have been journaling my food patterns and lately, it became very clear to me that processed wheat (crackers, bread, bagels, cookies, and cereal specifically) give me the urge to binge.  I researched it and I am not the only person that cannot control themselves with these items once they start.

For real, when these foods touch my lips, I literally lose control.  I zone out and feel myself slipping into bad and destructive habits.  Yet, it is a safe and familiar place.  I know it is bad, but it feels so good.  I am like Eve with her apple or Pandora with her box....I know inside the outcome will be negative, but the instant pull of gratification is too strong for me to resist.

I am a food addict, a wheat addict specifically.  Give me a bag of honey wheat pretzel rods or a box of Wheat Thins and I will black out until only crumbs are left. I will then feel so ashamed and defeated, that I will have to lay down in order to center myself.  I fall asleep and wake up with a food hangover.  It is self destructive behavior.  I do it to myself.

For the last few days, I have been journaling my food choices and I have been trying to avoid wheat when I can.  It is a good first step for me, I do not think I can avoid dairy, I love cheese too much and can control myself around it.  It was always the vehicle for cheese (bread and crackers) that I couldn't stop myself around, not the cheese.

I am feeling very in control.  A general eating day for me has been like this:

Breakfast - 
2 eggs made in butter
1 slice of cheddar cheese melted on eggs
1 banana
Coffee with cream and sugar

Lunch -
1 cup brown rice
1 cup peas
1/4 cup parmesan cheese
1 TBSP butter melted on rice
3 oz of chicken breast
1/2 cup 4 percent cottage cheese

Snack - 
1 small bag of kettle potato chips
1 tall vanilla latte made with 2 percent milk

Dinner -
3 cups of romaine lettuce
1 small tomato
1 small cucumber
1/4 cup of feta cheese
4 oz of steak
2 TBSP balsamic vinaigrette dressing
14 almonds
1 small apple

Snack - 
4 cups of air popped popcorn with 1 TBSP of olive oil and 2 TBSPs of parmesan cheese
2 squares of dark chocolate

I have never been so satisfied.  I am actually quite surprised.  I am full after meals and snacks.  Prior to this, I was starving all of the time.   I literally counted the minutes between meals, ALL I could think about was my next opportunity to eat, I fantasized about it.

I am going to keep this up as long as I can because I am really feeling even and positive.  For now, I am just practicing eating for satisfaction and not counting calories.  I am trying to learn my hunger signals which are totally out of whack from years and years of eating for emotional fulfillment.

Once I get the hungry and full signals rewired, I will tackle calories, so I can continue on my weight loss journey.  At this time, I just want to take one little baby step at a time, so I can get my head around it all.

I will keep you posted!