Alright.....I am SO not into fad diets. I have always believed that calories in and calories burned will help me lose weight. I know that the times that I have been successful with my weight loss, it has been because of my diet mostly (or lack of because I starved myself)...the workouts help tone, but I can't eat whatever I want just because I head to the gym.
I am always looking for the easy fix. 20 years after my first diet, I am STILL trying to figure out what will work for me, it is exhausting and I am going to conquer it. I know I will.
I am so sick of riding the weight roller coaster: restrict, binge, restrict, binge, restrict, etc.
As I shared last week, I have been journaling my food patterns and lately, it became very clear to me that processed wheat (crackers, bread, bagels, cookies, and cereal specifically) give me the urge to binge. I researched it and I am not the only person that cannot control themselves with these items once they start.
For real, when these foods touch my lips, I literally lose control. I zone out and feel myself slipping into bad and destructive habits. Yet, it is a safe and familiar place. I know it is bad, but it feels so good. I am like Eve with her apple or Pandora with her box....I know inside the outcome will be negative, but the instant pull of gratification is too strong for me to resist.
I am a food addict, a wheat addict specifically. Give me a bag of honey wheat pretzel rods or a box of Wheat Thins and I will black out until only crumbs are left. I will then feel so ashamed and defeated, that I will have to lay down in order to center myself. I fall asleep and wake up with a food hangover. It is self destructive behavior. I do it to myself.
For the last few days, I have been journaling my food choices and I have been trying to avoid wheat when I can. It is a good first step for me, I do not think I can avoid dairy, I love cheese too much and can control myself around it. It was always the vehicle for cheese (bread and crackers) that I couldn't stop myself around, not the cheese.
I am feeling very in control. A general eating day for me has been like this:
2 eggs made in butter
1 slice of cheddar cheese melted on eggs
Coffee with cream and sugar
1 cup brown rice
1 cup peas
1/4 cup parmesan cheese
1 TBSP butter melted on rice
3 oz of chicken breast
1/2 cup 4 percent cottage cheese
1 small bag of kettle potato chips
1 tall vanilla latte made with 2 percent milk
3 cups of romaine lettuce
1 small tomato
1 small cucumber
1/4 cup of feta cheese
4 oz of steak
2 TBSP balsamic vinaigrette dressing
1 small apple
4 cups of air popped popcorn with 1 TBSP of olive oil and 2 TBSPs of parmesan cheese
2 squares of dark chocolate
I have never been so satisfied. I am actually quite surprised. I am full after meals and snacks. Prior to this, I was starving all of the time. I literally counted the minutes between meals, ALL I could think about was my next opportunity to eat, I fantasized about it.
I am going to keep this up as long as I can because I am really feeling even and positive. For now, I am just practicing eating for satisfaction and not counting calories. I am trying to learn my hunger signals which are totally out of whack from years and years of eating for emotional fulfillment.
Once I get the hungry and full signals rewired, I will tackle calories, so I can continue on my weight loss journey. At this time, I just want to take one little baby step at a time, so I can get my head around it all.
I will keep you posted!