Friday, January 18, 2013

The Time I Dated a Sociopath Part 2

There was a suitcase, takeout boxes, liquor, beer cans, wine glasses, and clothes strew upon the floor.  The photos of Socio and me that were on his shelves and fridge had been replaced by photos of him and ANOTHER woman, a young looking one, no more than 20 years old.  There were photos of them taken at the same places we had been, including was like walking into your own episode of Dateline Special Victims Unit. 

I rounded the corner to the bedroom and sure enough Socio and his other girlfriend were laying naked under the covers.  My heart was pounding.  I shook Socio awake and if I could bottle his face, I would have...."OH SHIT."

Now, I am not at all proud to share what happened next..., but there is no holding back here....

The rage in me was so strong, so intense, so unpredicted, I snapped.  All of my hate, my anguish, my fears, they all came spilling out.  I ripped the covers off the 2 of them and started a tornado of destruction.  I broke photos, I broke glasses, I broke framed posters.  I ripped clothes out of the closet, I  threw plates on the ground like bouncy balls. 

I ran to the bathroom and locked myself inside with her purse.  I rummaged threw it.  She went to college in the Midwest, a good school actually, and she was only 18, OMG! (I later learned they started sleeping together when she was 16, him 35, they met at work, she was a summer intern)......I started to gag and thought I was going to vomit.  I splashed cold water on my face and sobbed.  I looked in the mirror and remember thinking "You did this to yourself you fool.  You knew this was a disaster.  You stayed."  I then shoved her purse into the toilet, it was all I could think to do because he was pounding at the door and about to break it down, I didn't want to get caught with it.

I shut the toilet lid and opened up the door suddenly.  I grabbed his balls so hard that he fell to the ground in a heap.  She stood there behind him speechless.....not doing or saying anything, wearing only his t-shirt, her hairless crotch hanging out of the bottom of the hem, which only made her look younger and more helpless... her mouth was gaped open, jaw unhinged....we were both connecting the dots.

As I waited for the elevator.  He came charging out of his apartment.  I instinctively protected my neck, I remember thinking, protect your neck, he could snap it.  He lunged at me and pulled my hair and threw an entire heavy garbage bag of my belongings at my head.  I reason he packed my stuff that were at his apartment whenever she came into town.  He screamed "WE ARE DONE!"


I walked out of his building with streams of thick tears running down my face.  My head was killing me from where he pulled my hair.  I was clutching my garbage bag full of possessions and did the only thing I knew to do....

I called his mother and told her the entire story.

She cried.  I cried. She told me about the lies , ALL of the lies.  She told me, "I wanted to tell you, but I wanted you to save him, I am so sorry I did this to you."  I knew this was the best revenge I could get on him, making sure his family knew the truth.  No one else mattered, they were the only ones that really knew how messed up he really was and he was using me to look better to them, so they were the jury on this one. 

A few months ago, right before I met Crush, I was getting my nails done and a women kept staring at me.  I was looking at her, too, she seemed familiar, I tried to place her.  While we were drying, she asked me, "I think you dated my brother "The Sociopath" like forever ago?"

I nodded.  She then continued to tell me that he was doing super great, got married, had just had a new baby.  I then instantly recalled, she was the sister I always liked the least, the one that was very caught up in the machine of appearances, the only sibling younger than him, she was about 6 years older than me and away in grad school when I had dated the Sociopath, I had only met her once before. 

I felt the tears welling up inside of me and I couldn't contain them.  I couldn't hold them back.  I started to cry.  She thought I was crying because I still loved him and she said, "don't worry, you will find someone too, you are very pretty."

And then told her....."I am not crying because I miss him, I crying because I feel so bad for the woman who married him and for his son.  Your brother is a monster and a sociopath.  You know it, I would be embarrassed if that was my brother, too."

I then got up, grabbed my purse, and smudged 8 out of my 10 nails. 


  1. Thank you for posting part two so quickly - was on the edge of my seat yesterday!

    It took guts to be so open with the details. I'm hoping that the run-in with the sister finally have closure on this chapter!

    1. You know I love instant gratification, so I wasn't about to wait too long to post!

      Thank you! It felt VERY good to come clean about the good, bad, and ugly there....I never really dealt with it healthily until now because I was so ashamed...seeing his sister was such a good thing for closure because it forced me to reopen this to process, I needed to! THANK YOU FOR READING!

  2. Should have grammar checked that last sentence. Whoops!

  3. Whoaa! R&F what an experience! Certainly not one I would wish on anyone. But how brave you are to write about it. Hopefully it will help you to heal and help other women to see the signs...I know you're not pining over the guy but a very tough experience to go through. Why do we always run into people that we don't want to? Anyway..Crush is your windshield and the Ahole is in your rear view. Have a great weekend.

    1. It was such a bad situation, but I am so happy, 8 years later, I can see the error of my ways. I grew up a lot since then and learned that I am indeed worth it and better than that! The writing had been the best thing I have ever done for myself. It has helped me face situations I couldn't ever talk about, just like this one. I ALWAYS RUN INTO PEOPLE THAT I DON'T WANT TO...ALWAYS! Thank you so much for your kindness. My Crush is my love because I was finally ready to be treated the way I knew deep inside that I deserved to be.

  4. Ooh girl, I love that you told her how it is! That is hilarious. I would feel bad for his wife and baby as well, but I probably wouldn't have said anything, I'm too shy in that regard. I need to speak my mind/truth more!

    Glad you got out of that one, for sure!

    1. This voice, the one I can no longer contain, is absolutely a new thing. I mostly had to say something...anything....because I was crying in public at a nail salon..ugly crying, too. Haha.

  5. Love that you told his sister. But what an awful thing to go through. PHEW

    1. PHEW is right! I have no filter anymore and I don't fear crying in it all comes spilling out. I always think that things happen for a reason, I suppose I ran into her because it was time to deal with it.


Tell me your truth and I will continue to tell you mine......