I am super nervous about my little trip. In an effort to quell my nerves, I am eating my feelings. Like, just now for instance, I decided to have a late lunch and somehow ate 1,300 calories in about 15 minutes. It was a binge. I will admit. It wasn't premeditated and it happened rather frantically, so now I am writing about it.
WHY did that just happen? Let me see...most likely because I am confidant because I am in smaller clothes, people have started to comment on my progress, I have work to do that I don't feel like doing, and Crush and me continue to talk about all the fun stuff we are going to do together...Monday cannot come soon enough! I just did a little backslide. Three steps forward, one step back.
In terms of my calories for the day, I am still under 2,000, so just fine. I am so glad that I just recorded my intake as I was going to eat some more before I took a break to access the damage...I was able to stop. This is a big deal for me. In the past, I could never stop until I seriously felt like I was going to be sick.
So, what happens now?
I am going to have a normal dinner if I am hungry. I am going to the gym later. I am going to catch up on work. I am not going to let this little set back derail me.
I get how the binging is a result of emotional anguish and not hunger. I am feeling nervous about seeing Crush and the potential of intimacy, BUT, I am more excited and really really eager if anything.
Food is not going to solve distance, insecurity, uneasiness, or impatience.
I do feel some resolution coming soon.....one day at a time.