Nervous Eating

I am super nervous about my little trip.  In an effort to quell my nerves, I am eating my feelings.  Like, just now for instance, I decided to have a late lunch and somehow ate 1,300 calories in about 15 minutes.  It was a binge.  I will admit.  It wasn't premeditated and it happened rather frantically, so now I am writing about it.

WHY did that just happen?  Let me see...most likely because I am confidant because I am in smaller clothes, people have started to comment on my progress, I have work to do that I don't feel like doing, and Crush and me continue to talk about all the fun stuff we are going to do together...Monday cannot come soon enough!  I just did a little backslide.  Three steps forward, one step back.

In terms of my calories for the day, I am still under 2,000, so just fine.  I am so glad that I just recorded my intake as I was going to eat some more before I took a break to access the damage...I was able to stop.  This is a big deal for me.  In the past, I could never stop until I seriously felt like I was going to be sick.

So, what happens now?

Nothing.

I am going to have a normal dinner if I am hungry.  I am going to the gym later.  I am going to catch up on work. I am not going to let this little set back derail me.

I get how the binging is a result of emotional anguish and not hunger.  I am feeling nervous about seeing Crush and the potential of intimacy, BUT, I am more excited and really really eager if anything.

Food is not going to solve distance, insecurity, uneasiness, or impatience.

I do feel some resolution coming soon.....one day at a time.