My dreams have been so vivid lately. Beautiful. The kind that you don't want to wake up from. I have been sleeping in....not good.
The last time I had dreams like this on a regular basis was exactly a year ago. I was finding my personal strength to leave Awful and I had the most intense dreams. In them, my grandfather would come and tell me to "just leave, just go, I promise you it will be okay, I am looking out for you, just leave, just go." I had that same dream about 9 times before I got up and didn't think about things, about what I would be giving up, I just grabbed my bags and followed my heart right out of Awful's front door.
A few nights ago, I had a really neat dream. I dreamt that the Crush attended a wedding with me that was 2 and half years ago. In real life, I went with Awful. It was a fun weekend, a GREAT wedding. The wedding was for one of my very best friends, a person I truly adore. It took place in her hometown, one of my favorite cities in the world. It would have been better if Awful wasn't my date, everything always became about him and his drinking embarrassed me. In my dream, Crush and I were having a ball. I looked really happy and he was a great dancer and twirled me all night. I am sucker for a man that can dance. I told him about my dream and he told me that he LOVES to dance and he has taken lots of lessons, it's more of traditional thing from where he is from. I mean obviously, because I forgot to put that on my list, but really should have, did I mention...I LOVE to dance. A man raised right can dance if you ask me. Swoon.
Last night, I had another vivid dream. Crush wasn't in it this time, but I was again in the city that my best friend above got married in, in a hotel I love and stayed at with Awful a few times before. In my dream, I am primping to go somewhere. I am listening to my favorite CD ever and sipping a glass of champagne. I am not at my skinniest, but I am about 20 pounds less than I am now and if I do say so myself, I look beautiful. I am wearing one of my favorite primping garments, a long silk nightie with spaghetti straps....my nearest and dearest call it a Dynasty nightie and make fun of me for loving them, it is a very 80s look. My hair is long, my skin is crystal clear, my teeth and eyes are bright. I am really happy. I look like the person I am just starting to look like again after a real long time...I missed her. I put on my perfume and take a sip of champagne. I am in front of a gorgeous vintage vanity staring at myself in the mirror, smiling. Just as I start to apply my lipstick, I wake up.....
This morning, I received a text as soon as I got out of bed from Crush that read:
C: I dreamt about you last night.
R&F: You did, what happened?
C: I was somewhere I have never been before, I am not sure where, but I think a hotel. You were primping to go somewhere in front of a mirror. I was standing at the doorway admiring you, I am not even sure if you knew I was there. You looked so beautiful. It was taking me a lot not to muss you. You were putting on red lipstick. I love red lipstick. (SIDE NOTE: I do too, a little bit too much and ten years into my red lipstick career, I have just figured out how to wear it, I plan to offer some beauty product suggestions on this blog too, down the line, in my dream I was putting on my new favorite red, Nars Heat Wave.....).
R&F: I had a very similar dream. I just peed myself. I now have the chills and I am going to be late for a conference call that I require coffee for. Talk to you later. Don't forget your details. I need to hear ALL about it later.
And yes, Crush uses words like muss.