I am happy. It is weird. I have a lot to do, but I am happy. I haven't been happy in 3 years. OMG. I was not happy for 1 day that I was with Awful. I just realized this. I feel like myself again. I am starting to look like myself again, too. It is all very good. It is all very hopeful.
I am going to see my therapist today. I am happy, but my anxiety is still making it a bit hard for me to complete tasks. I am looking forward to this afternoon's appointment. I do think my therapist is very handsome and his voice is extremely comforting. I bawl every time I see him. No one should be surprised by this.
Oh and yes....yes, I am falling hard and fast for Crush. There is no other way to explain this. It is making me VERY nervous as I have been so unlucky in love before. Unfortunately unlucky.
Crush and me, we just have so much in common. We finish each other sentences. We talk about our feelings and our fears. We both lived through devastating breakups this year, we both were the people that did the breaking up and walking out, we both felt that our exes weren't our soul mates. There are signs, MANY signs. I have been keeping a list. If we ever make it to a defined place, I will share them all with you.
There are dreams, 3 so far that we have shared. This morning I texted him about my dream JUST as I received a text from him about his....the SAME dream, a text from me sent and a text from him received at the SAME time about the SAME dream. And not a sex dream, but there was some kissing and closure with exes and all that. WEIRD! WEIRD! WEIRD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We have the same views. We are both hopeless romantics. We come from similar backgrounds. We like the same music. We plan to vote for the same person and no I will not tell you who that person is.
I can't sleep. I can't eat. I have NEVER felt this way EVER! I think I may be falling in love. I realize that I have never been it love before. I thought it was love, but it never was. This is something new, this feeling, this is something intoxicating.
It all feels so DIFFERENT, so different, that I am not even scared to admit it. I know that it might not work out, I know that only time will tell, but there is something so special about this, about how this is making me feel, I would be lying if I didn't tell you that I think this may be what the beginnings of soul mate love truly feels like.....I really think it's destiny.