After my appointment with June, I was super excited to see DeeDee. About a month passed between my appointment with June and my appointment with DeeDee and during that time, I dreamt of my grandfather vividly almost every single night. It was almost like he was alive again. He told me in my dreams that he was proud of me, that he was going to help me find love, and that he was watching over me. I would wake up in the morning feeling extremely relaxed and hopeful.
The morning of my appointment with DeeDee, I almost canceled it. I was feeling overwhelmed at what I could hear and nervous that she would tell me things that scared me. But, I figured, I waited 2 months to see her, so I better just go...
I was a few minutes late trying to find a parking spot and walked in all in a huff. DeeDee sees clients in an office space that is decorated like a hookah lounge: comfy chairs and couches, tapestries, candles and incense everywhere.
When I entered, I smelled a scent that reminded me of my grandfather's pipe. It was very soothing. DeeDee smiled and gave me a hug. She said, "Welcome, R&F. Your grandfather told me you are always a few minutes late. He is here right now and has been eagerly awaiting your arrival all morning. I had to ask him to stay out of other client's appointments. He is very chatty and animated (SO TRUE). I have to ask you your permission first, is it okay if he stays for our appointment?"
I burst into tears. I could feel him there. The energy. The smell. I knew he was in DeeDee's office.
"Of course....," was all I could mutter before DeeDee guided me to a huge purple armchair and started her ritual of lighting incense and candles and meditating.
DeeDee got out a notebook and started scribbling fanatically. She wrote Awful's initials, circled them, and then made a line through it. Like a "no running sign" for children. My grandfather loved to make little signs like that. She told me that my grandfather had been wanting to tell me this message for the last 3 years.
DeeDee continued to blow my mind. My grandpa had so much to tell me. She told me that she knew I had already had my angels read and that Smartie Best Friend had sent me and that my grandfather had started to bug her in desperation in order to get me into DeeDee's office (true!).
DeeDee drew a diagram of my workspace complete with a photo of my grandfather (which is in the room I work) and told me that he wanted me to know that he watches me. She drew a diagram of my family and me witnessing my grandfather's last rites and told me that my grandfather considers that one of the best moments of his life even though it came at the very end. DeeDee explained that my grandfather disliked Awful and really wanted me to get my $25.00 check (a joke that he shared with Sissy and me...if we married Jewish, he would give us $25.00 and if we didn't marry Jewish....we got nothing!). She told me my grandfather handpicked Big Baby's soul for our family (Big Baby is his namesake) and we would be very close and have a special bond (we do already). DeeDee explained all of the business mistakes my granddad was watching me make and how I had to stay true to myself and be tough, if I wanted to make a living.
Most of all, my granddad emphasized the importance of me making my husband list. DeeDee said that my grandpa was looking all over the skies trying to set me up with some one's grandson and he had no idea what I wanted. He had been trying, but it just wasn't working out with anyone he sent me and DeeDee referenced 3 of my last dates at that time.....all good on paper Jewish guys, but none the one for me.
She told me I had to get specific, I had to get superficial, I had to wish for EXACTLY what I wanted and then grandpa could help me. I promised her I would. She told me something I will never forget. "You are connected to life beyond life. Just like I am. You are being given a huge opportunity. Someone close to you and chosen (my grandfather) who loves you very much is trying to help you find your soul mate. All you have to do is make your list. You have nothing to lose. Just make the list. The worst that can happen is that it takes a few years and you get your body and mind in check, you continue to grow your business....or...well, love could be just around the corner for you. Make your damn list." (My mom, Sissy, and Smartie Best Friend had already been telling me to make my list before I saw DeeDee, so the notion of a list was not something new to me.
DeeDee went on to discuss my love life. The abuse I endured with Awful. The fact that Awful was never going to marry me. How he was going to bars instead of conversion classes....how he emotionally and most likely physically cheated on me (I did suspect something on 2 separate occasions and pretty much had it confirmed last June...which I am not even angry about....subconsciously, he was looking for a way out, too). How I did enough good deeds for him: cooking, cleaning, getting him a job after he was fired from his last one, being hospitable to his family and friends....even though he wasn't a bad person in general, he was a very bad person for me. She told me that my grandfather was desperate to contact me all during my relationship with Awful (I started dating Awful a few months after Grandpa died) and was coming to me as best as he could while I contemplated suicide, looking for a way out of Awful's grasp. DeeDee wrote down the words, "JUST LEAVE." The very mantra that was haunting my dreams and thoughts the last weeks before I moved out of Awful's home. It was those 2 words that gave me the strength to know that a future existed beyond Awful's brownstone....all I had to do was leave. Grandpa was the one whispering it to me.
DeeDee drew 2 wedding rings with a 33 next to them. She told me that my future husband didn't live in the Midwest, that I would live near the beach, and that I would marry my soul mate at age 33....a special number that would eventually reveal itself to me. She said I would leave this city and never look back. IT IS ALL HAPPENING.
She also told me lots of things about my mom, dad, Sissy, best friends, and grandmother, but I don't want to share on their behalf....the important thing to note is that it has all been spot on for now.
I left DeeDee's appointment feeling like my life would go on. I deleted Awful from my phone, joined a new gym, and signed up again for match.com.
In June, I went to the beach with a best friend and her family and made my husband list. I sent it out to sea with a letter to my grandfather thanking him for helping me and letting him know how grateful I was that he was looking over me.
1 month later, Crush's Nanny passed away.
1 month after that, Crush and I had our first contact.
The rest is history is the making.......BELIEVE.