Monday, April 22, 2013

Anger Management, Karma Is A Bitch & Lessons Learned

Hi out there in Blogland!  Crush was here for a quick weekend and it was bittersweet as always. Easy to say hello and hard to say goodbye.

 I love my man, but I enjoy him a million times more not in my current city as I find it hard to cool my jets (I think I just may have quoted Bart Simpson....?!?) when I am here.

Crush's next big real trip will be Memorial Day, but this was a little one that was half work/half play.  He got to attend a first bday party, meet my cousins, see my Grandmartyr (grandmother), and attend a community center symphonic band concert geared for seniors at a local high school that my dad REALLY wanted to go to because some of his buddies (he just retired and joined a men's group where he is the youngest member by 10+ years) were performing.  

As always Crush was a super good sport.  The baseball game I bought us tickets for?  Canceled because of the weather.  The baseball tour I bought us tickets for?  Canceled because of the weather.  The community center concert?  NOT canceled because of the weather.  My gent didn't complain.  Because as he says, "let's not fret over what we cannot control..."  As a control FREAK, I need to remember this sometimes (ALL of the time, actually) and this weekend taught me many lessons which I will get to down below. 

Where I live in the Midwest experienced MAJOR flooding last week/this weekend.  MAJOR.  So bad, that many main highways were closed and traffic was nightmarish.  I mean a 3 Xanax situation.  But, I couldn't take that many because I was driving.  On Friday night, a VERY scary situation happened while I was driving with Crush (country boys don't drive well in the big city) to dinner......we were victims of road rage in the middle of gridlock traffic.  Long story short, a woman behind was experiencing a fit of roadrage directed at the back of my car.  She was screaming, flailing, cursing, and motioning for me to speed up, but there was NO WHERE TO GO.  I knew to just ignore her from all the Reader's Digest articles I have read regarding the subject while I wait in the doctor's office.  

Crush was TERRIFIED as I would have been too, if I wasn't immune to people acting all crazy and whatnot in the VERY corrupt city I live in and told him that I feared that something bad may happen, so let's try to get her plates just in case.....that very second, she taps the back of my car with her car in an effort to push me out of her way.  My car was in park, so I didn't hit the car in front of me and luckily, she had no where to go to get momentum to rail into me.  No damage was done to my car and I would take a few scratches over being hurt.  Seconds later, she aggressively swerved onto the shoulder (it was a real tight spot of the road) opened up her window and continued raging about.  She made the universal symbol for a gun with her hands.  Crush hid under his seat practically and I am terrible at remembering numbers, so I didn't get her license plate, but luckily she drove away on the shoulder of the road and we didn't see her again.  I understood her frustration.  The roads were clogged up the worst I had ever seen them....but the rage, no excuse.  Control yourself.

Then, on Saturday, at the concert, we were all enjoying some music and in the middle, my mother whispered to me for a tissue.  I got her one and thought nothing of it.  But, the woman in front of us sure did.  Between songs, she turned around and said, "You two gossipers need to shut the f*uk up!  My daughter is playing the clarinet tonight and I can't think straight because of your chatting and rustling.  You are animals and should be ashamed of yourself.  Go to hell you goddamn bitches!"  Here is the best part....she was doing a crossword puzzle during the ENTIRE concert.  She literally brought in a newspaper and a pen and a dictionary and was sitting there rustling her own papers.  For a moment, I thought we may have been on Candid Camera the entire thing seemed so silly.  And no, she wasn't a senior, she was perhaps 50ish and EVERYONE around us was talking including several little ones that were accompanied by their grandparents.  This wasn't the New York Symphony either, tickets were $5.00........OY.  It took ALL of my self control not to whomp her.  I had visions of tearing up her puzzle and beating her over the head with her pocket dictionary....but, I didn't.  Instead I cried silently to myself (FOR REAL) about WTF is wrong with people these days and made Crush switch seats with me for the second act, so I didn't have to be behind her.  My mom did the classy thing and apologized for blowing her nose and wished the lady a successful crossword puzzle as only my mom can and then said, "the answer for 11 Down is CONTROL YOURSELF." Mom - 1.  Cross Word Lady - 0. 

All of last night, I was up tossing and turning.  Besides the anger,  which I have been guilty of in the past, too,  I was taught MANY lessons this weekend:

1.  I once made fun of Crush for pooping in a public restroom because his stomach was upset.  I have this weird thing with pooping in public places....well, at lunch with my folks on Friday....I got massive not fun tummy issues and was in the bathroom for 1 hour at a restaurant.  

2.  I give Crush a hard time for spilling on himself when he eats.  At dinner on Saturday, half a bowl of soup ended up in my lap.

3.  I couldn't believe that Crush lost his car last week...I lost mine on Friday in a parking garage and thought it was in a much different spot than it was.  It took me 45 minutes to find. 

4.  Crush loses everything.  It makes me want to explode.  I lost my favorite lipstick and cried on Saturday morning.  I found it in my jacket pocket a few hours later. 

5.  I sometimes call Crush antisocial and make fun of his social skills...In public, I often find him to be awkward, but I think this may come from dating me, a real is hard to get a word in when I feel like yapping.  I wished for someone not obsessed with his friends because Awful LIVED only for his friends' approval, so I wanted this kind of man and still do, but I can be a mean bitch.  Crush attended 3 hard social situations with me this weekends: parents dinner, bday party for my friend's baby, and an extended family dinner and he did AWESOME.  Held his own, told stories, laughed, and was perfectly appropriate.  I felt like a real blockhead ever doubting him. 

I AM AN ASSHOLE.  Yes, sometimes I am.  But, as Smartie Best Friend once told me, "Yes, you are an asshole once in a while, but you do realize your mistakes and learn from them and that is a good trait."

In the wake of the SO MUCH tragedy around the is time for everyone, including ME, to slow their roll, take a deep breath, and realize how truly blessed life can be. Learn lessons, control yourself, and realize that few things are really worth fighting over.

And if all else fails, do like me and in the midst of a big personal meltdown, listen or hum the words to "What a Wonderful World" will bring you a moment of personal peace, I promise.

And of course, if all all all all and other else fails....take a chill pill.  


  1. Holy crap! What is wrong with these people?!?!? And here I thought Californians, especially San Diegans were rude! The traffic lady, Ugh, saying what I would have mimed to her would very unladylike and classless... But I totally would have mouthed off to the lady that told you to STFU. So rude!!

    I'm glad that Crush was able to be social with you this weekend though! I don't have a lot of friends, but I have a few really good friends, which is what I prefer, perhaps that's how he is?

    I spill all over myself when I eat. Always. Especially if I'm wearing something new or white. Never fails. Oh well.

    1. I KNOW!!!! People these days.....impatient! I can be guilty, too. Life just gets you sometimes.

      I only have a few really good friends, too. Quality over quantity, always. I don't love people around me all the time anyway. My own company is often my favorite company. With Crush, it is more like he has lots of surface friends that he sees when he socializes (he is really active in the community he lives in), but no really good core friends. Now, some of this does has to do with the fact that many of his better friends are now married with children out of state, are mine and I still keep up with them. It could be a woman versus man thing, here, too Up until me, he didn't let people in like I do. I tell it like it is and show my weaknesses and he doesn't....therefore, he doesn't emotionally connect as easily, but he does with me, so I will take it. Better than a man like Awful, out until 5am on the regular with all of his buddies.

      I need a bib. Hell, I need to just wear a poncho when I eat.


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