Friday, March 1, 2013

The Things I Wish I Didn't Do

I have never come here to tell you how wonderful I perfect.  I don't have a beautiful home, millions of dollars, fancy purses or shoes, or six-pack abs.  But, I am happy. Errrr....not completely happy because I don't know if I ever will be, but I am happier than I have been in years.

My daily struggles have not changed.  I still have a major food addiction.  I still have an all or nothing mentality.  I still wear my bathrobe until 10:00 am while I watch the Bachelor on Hulu and eat chips and salsa for breakfast.  I wish I didn't do this, but some habits are hard to break.

Here are a few things I do that I wish I didn't:

1.  I wish I didn't stalk Crush's ex-fiance on Pinterest.  This is the one way to see a bit more into her life and I actually see a lot of myself in her....she struggles with her weight, too.  Such an invasion of privacy, why can't I stop?

2.  I wish I didn't ask my current boyfriends about their ex's.  I have always done this.   I would ask Awful about how thin his ex-wife was (she was skinny), I would ask what kind of wine she liked, I would ask what she would order at a certain restaurant for her dinner.  WHHHHHY?  With Crush, I really ask him weird questions about his ex....ones that involve sex, money, and her engagement ring.  He answers them without a bat of an eye, always respectfully.  Here is the thing, I don't ask these questions out of is just that people and the human condition super duper fascinate me.  I like to know about people's past to determine how they got to their present.

3.  I wish I just said no to things that I don't want to do or think are stupid.  This pertains mostly to business things these days, but I say yes to the dumbest stuff and then I stay up for 48 hours straight doing moronic DIY projects and not getting paid for it.

4.  I wish I didn't buy foods that I know I cannot control myself around.  Some of these things are chips and ice cream.  After I ate 4 ice cream bars and 1 bag of corn chips last night while half asleep.....I thought to myself....why are these things in the house?!  I realized that I ate them because they were there, because I am addicted to food and sugar and fat are my crack.  I cannot have these things around me.  I don't go on broccoli or clementine binges even though I like these things, too.

5.  I wish I didn't hide from hard emails or phone calls sometimes.  Again, this is business stuff, but I find myself confronted virtually and then I hide for a while begging it to go away and then I take a Xanax and deal with it.  I wish I didn't have to take the Xanax to deal with it, but I do....

Do you ever do things that you wish you didn't do?


  1. I'm with you on keeping bad things in the house. However, Haagen daz and Ben and Jerry's has single serve ice cream cups, perhaps look into those? That's what I buy when I'm craving ice cream. Sometimes I buy 2, don't care cuz I can easily eat a pint in one sitting.

    Things I wish I didn't do, putting off cleaning until I have a big giant mess of dishes or a whole days worth of laundry. I procrastinate big time. I'm working on it.

    1. Procrastination is the worst. Going to do my dishes now. I love the idea of the little cups, that is way better than a pint and I can eat 2 pints in a sitting.....blush.....and a pizza.

  2. I'm a big ole stalker, unbeknownst to Hubs. I will google the crap out of anyone and everyone, see what I can on Facebook. I think everyone does it and no one cops to it!

  3. Oh. And the asking about ex-es. It's morbid curiosity. 20 years ago I had it. I know his what I think is is only ex-girlfriend. Our paths cross sometimes in business and charity work. That being said, I won. YOU WON. You have Crush and he has you. Relish in that!

    1. SO TRUE! I am a very curious lady. People fascinate me. I feel like my path will eventually cross with Crush's ex when I move.....I actually fear we could bump into her and it makes nervous, but of course I will TRY to be a lady....


Tell me your truth and I will continue to tell you mine......