Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Slow As Molasses

Crush is slow slow slow.  Slow as molasses.  He moves like a turtle.  I am impatient.  It is an interesting fit.

Crush takes a long time to do everything and anything.  I mean everything!  Making love...1 hour minimum.  Getting ready for supper.....1 hour minimum.  Packing the car...yup, 1 hour minimum.

When you are driving on the highway and see the speed limit signs that read 65 mph maximum and 45 mph minimum and you think....who drives 45 mph on the interstate?  My boyfriend.

This weekend, when my besties were visiting, we decided to go visit the beach and head about 1 hour away from where we had been staying.  Crush and I left the city a full 45 minutes before them and they beat us!  Sllllllllloooooooooooooow he is.

When I rush him, he can't quite handle it.  He falls (literally), tripping right over his feet.  He does stupid time savers like putting paper towels in the toilet instead of the trash can because "I was rushing him and he didn't want to go all the way to the garbage to throw them out because it would waste time...", he panics and runs around accomplishing nothing and then in turn makes me super nervous.

From our visits together, I realize, this man simply needs his time.  So, I have started to do my best to give him the 1 hour warning he needs to get things done without twisting his ankle....yes, it really did happen when he was feeling hurried.  Then Mister Molasses was on crutches.  The 1 hour minimum, became 2....OY!

A slower pace is good for me.   I need it and I look forward to meandering a bit.  Crush takes time to say hello to an acquaintance on the street even if it means being 5 minutes late for a restaurant reservation.  Crush doesn't feel the immediacy to get instantly back to clients via email like I do.  He is better at figuring at what needs to be done because it is necessary, not because he can see an email come in on his phone.

The culture of the city he lives in, allows for this pace.  A slower way of life encompasses his entire reality.  I used to hate it and somewhat resent it and now I am in awe of it.  I want to take the time to smell the flowers every single day, too. I think I would have been super happy and productive in the days before computers and cell phones...though, I would indeed miss this blog.

As we have gotten closer, I have started to have to slow my roll.  There are times when one can actually have that second cup of coffee, take a lingering stroll, and make love for 2 hours and nothing is going to happen.  There are certain things in life that do require absolute promptness and efficiency, but there are many things that don't, too.  I feel like these days, everyone is so overstimulated and overcharged, that enjoying a 2 hour meal is an absolute luxury.....

Where I am going, it is just dinner.


  1. Oh wow, this would drive me insane. :o You are a better soul than me because I like my quick pace, but I certainly know how to slow my roll when appropriate. On the highway going 45mph is not one of those times for me. :p

    Glad you are learning something from it, though, way to find the silver lining!

    1. Hahahahahaha! SO TRUE!

      The hasty pace I have been living these days has made me a bit cray....so, even before I met Crush, I was looking for a little relief. But, yes, I am working on my patience and he knows he needs to meet me halfway, too. 68 mph in a 65 is the slowest I can handle!!!!!!!!!!

  2. You should call it "being on crush time". In San Diego we have "San Diego time", and I've had friends with their own time as well. Everyone knows that such and such person will always be 30 minutes late, etc. I like to be prompt, on time, but I think I have a pretty good balance of rush/rest.

    It would drive me crazy to wait for an hour while a guy got ready. Actually, if any guy took longer than myself to get ready, it would drive me crazy. Maybe some of your rush will rub off on him and you guys will find a good balance!

  3. I was dying laughing when you told the paper towel story! I am one of those people who rushes everything too. Little by little, you will find yourself slowing down a little and Crush may start to speed things up and then you can live happily ever after in the middle.


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