One of my favorite episodes of Sex and the City was the one titled the "The Good Fight." In this episode Carrie was feeling really cramped by Aidan being at her apartment all of the time and she missed her Secret Single Behaviors nicknamed SSBs by Urban Dictionary. SSBs are defined as:
A habit that one indulges in when alone. This refers especially to behavior that is hidden from a significant other and could be potentially embarrassing if discovered.
In the episode, Carrie's SSB was reading fashion magazines while eating saltines with grape jelly while standing up in her kitchen. Charlotte's was studying her pores for hours. Miranda liked to slather vaseline all over her hands and then put on cotton gloves while staying up all night and watching informercials. Samantha doesn't have any SSBs of course.
One of the things I liked least about living with Awful other than the fact that I hated who Awful was as a person was being judged for my SSBs. SSBs are hard to give up, even when you are in a relationship. I hated being judged for the strange things that I love to do and that had become part of my daily existence.
I always laugh when my sister calls me to tell me not to call her because her husband is out and the baby is napping and she has 50 minutes to watch Real Housewives of Somewhere while eating gummy candies and searching conspiracy theories on the internet....this is one of her favorite SSBs. Here are 10 of mine and I never said that I was normal or not gross.
1. I like to wear my bathroom all day with just a bra and no underwear and apply lotion when I am home alone. When I do this in front of Crush, he thinks I want to do it....NO.....I just want to air out, make my skin really soft, and chill.
2. I like to study my pores for about 10 minutes once a week in the middle of the night when I wake up to pee. Sometimes, I have a really good black head to pop.
3. I like to eat ice cream and chocolate for breakfast sometimes. When this happens, I typically eat it for the rest of my meals and often just that....like a bag of chocolate and a container of ice cream in one day. Often, this involves that time of the month.
4. I like to do arm weights and squats in front of the TV while I watch reality TV. I take breaks during commercials.
5. I like to watch shows on MTV on my laptop while I watch the news on TV. Like at the same time.
6. I like to wake up in the middle of the night and eat. Typically cheese or nuts. But, leftovers are yummy, too. While I eat my snacks in bed, I like to surf the web for something really random like symptoms of a disease or an unsolved murder case.
7. I like to air dry from the shower. I like to put on lots of body oil while I am still damp. Then I always sit on my bed by accident and get an oil tush spot on the comforter.
8. I like to eat candy frozen. Dots are my favorite. I like to enjoy these while I read and often they make me drool and then I drool on myself and in my bed. I wake up with primary color drool spots on my pillow.
9. I like to sing and listen to music while I get ready to go out for the evening (or to dinner). Crush can get behind this, but it is important that he doesn't talk while I get ready or it takes me twice as long. I also like to listen to music that is themed to where we may be going. For instance, if we are going to a fancy dinner, then Frank Sinatra or Ella Fitzgerald, but if we are going to a party, then Black Eyed Peas or George Michael's greatest hits.
10. I like to wear my bathrobe (not the one I wear around the house, a different one) over my clothes that I wear out while I get ready. I treat it like how they put a cape on you when you get your hair done. Sometimes when my dress is tight, I like to put a pillow under my dress to stretch out the stomach area and I look like I am pregnant. I showed Crush this once and he turned pale and thought I wanted to have a baby or was trying to tell him I was pregnant. Nonono, my tummy was just bloated from 5 pieces of fried chicken that I inhaled earlier that day.
What are some of your SSBs?