Saturday, February 9, 2013

Kill Them with Kindness

Once I move, I plan to tell you a bit more about my business.  At that time, I will be taking a little break from it, in place of a more stable job in a new city, so I can reveal some juice.

I can tell you this, I work with people.  I work with people dealing with a very emotional and expensive time in their lives and most of the time it is fantastic, but some of the time, it really isn't.  I make people very happy, but people also take a lot out on me, some of the time.

Often, after a rude phone conversation with a client or a slew of profane texts shot at me at 2:00 am on a Monday, I think......this is it.  I can't do this anymore.  I am not tough enough.  I want to just be without constant bother.  Then, I get into bed and turn depressed for a few days until I find the strength and balance to apologize for things that have nothing to do with me. Often, this period of self doubt and self reflection are coupled with a major binge.  When I feel like a failure regardless of what I have or haven't even done, food is my friend.  It doesn't talk back.

Lately, as I have become more in tune with who I REALLY am, I have become less of a victim.  I have been able to separate the "OMG, I really dropped the ball," which does happen from time to time with the "this isn't really my problem, nor my job, and I am sorry you feel this way, but I have nothing to do with it."  Let's all live in reality for a moment.  Things cost money.  If you want them, you do have to pay for them.  You hired me to help you, now let me help you and everything can't be done in 1 day.

In the past, everyday of my life was formally determined by how people treated me.  I reacted to their energy.  I am a very kind person.  I am a very giving person.  I think some people consider me to even be fake or phony or a total pushover.  I promise you, I'm not.  I love giving compliments and I give them often, but only when I mean them.  I admire a lot about a lot of people.  I love hearing about what makes a person an individual.

I realize that I am different than most people.  I feel so deeply.  I care so much.  I want happiness and peace for all.  I HATE much, that I would try my best to stay out of it and then I would explode.  Now, when I feel things turning with a client,  I try my best to think the entire thing through and realize that returning money and bowing out with enough time can be better overall than fighting tooth and nail to fix something that was and will be always broken. The times I have made miracles happen, stayed up for a week straight, put my own savings into something to make it unbelievable...these are the times I don't even get a thank you...not a hug, a handshake, or a "good job!".  These are the times I still get a nasty review just because I agreed to work with someone.  I will always admit fault and I have messed up in the past, but some people, some people just NEED to blame someone for something and often I am the person blamed.

From time to time, a client will never be satisfied and when you find yourself in the midst of one, I often think now (a few years into this)......GET OUT.  You will end up feeling crazy trying to help someone who IS crazy.

The more I do my job, the more I realize that perhaps it may not be the job for me because I don't like to screw people over.  I like to help them, to tell the truth, and to be a part of things.  When this can't happen, I can't perform at my best.  I am surprised that only very intelligent and financially secure people want to hear the truth.  Perhaps they got this way because they listened and realized that life doesn't work the way they wanted it to just because they think they deserved it.  They had to work hard and save.......

As the days go on and the countdown to the move continues, I decided to just kill them with kindness.  I promise to be nice, BUT firm.  To continue to be honest, loving, giving, and committed.  You can't win them all.  The great clients bring the great referrals and I am ready for GREAT.


  1. I agree with this all. Kill them with kindness, and the people that tend to listen to the truth, are the smart ones.

    I read some article recently about advice, how people should stop giving it because no one takes it, essentially everyone is selfish and self centered and thinks they know what is right all of the time. I felt sad. I think that the smart people who are secure, perhaps financially and emotionally, are the ones that take advice or listen to others.

    Perhaps that's the problem with your childish clients? They don't want to hear anyone's opinion other than themselves. They should learn how to take some advice.

  2. R&F... My guesses... wedding planner, interior decorator, or architect. I have worked in the hotel biz and my husband has forever and still does so our middle name is kill them with kindness. Can't wait til you move so we can find out the scoop.


Tell me your truth and I will continue to tell you mine......