Friday, February 15, 2013

Fix Me

In light of my week this week, I made a little list of personal things I must work on.  Transitions have always been hard for me.  I need a bit of chaos in my life for some reason, it is how I get things done.  It is truly silly and it is affecting both my mental health and my relationship now that I have such an even keel and sane significant other.  Here we go:

1.  DO NOT PICK FIGHTS WITH CRUSH.  This will be tough for me, but anything big, dramatic, emotional or petty needs to be slept on before it is discussed over the phone.  I sometimes talk JUST to hear my own voice.  True true.

2.  Do what I say I am going to do.  I have been struggling with this.  I over promise and under deliver. I like a little conflict.  WHY?  There is no reason.  I really need to work on this.

3.  I need to continue to avoid wheat and not slip on this.  The psoriasis is about 75 percent improved.  This is huge for me.  I haven't had my skin this under control in over 5 years.  It is such a feeling of hope, I need to stick with it and remember how this feels.  The psoriasis depresses me.  I cannot control it, so I feel super out of control about it.

4. I need to get out of bed everyday, dressed everyday, and go do something out of the house everyday, even if it is just the gym.  For the last few weeks, I have found myself in a state of holding.  I am going through the motions, but not living.  I work from home, so I can do this....and it isn't good.  One day I will NEED to have an office, I cannot handle not reporting in somewhere.  Every few months this happens to me.  I know it is my depression and anxiety rearing it's head again, but lately the lows have been lower.  I am thinking that my new birth control may be altering my moods.  I feel a bit out of control emotionally and the real lows began when I went back on birth control in October.

5.  I need to be a better friend, sister, and aunt.  I worry so much about my business and tying up loose ends and being available to Crush, that I have slipped a bit.  Also, Crush and I both work for ourselves and talk and email too much throughout the day.  I sometimes feel ambushed by his correspondence.  I asked him nicely earlier this week if we could limit the 9am - 6pm chat, so I can focus on my clients, appointments, and errands for work and he understood and agreed.  Just that alone has helped me feel a bit less stressed, so I am glad I addressed it.  Love him dearly I do, but I can't chat and work at the same time, I make mistakes and then can't give anything I am doing my full attention.

THANK YOU for your wonderful advice btw, I am feeling a lot more grounded since I shared.

Happy Friday to all, going to hit the candy sales soon!

1 comment:

  1. This is awesome and reasonable and YOU CAN DO ALL OF THIS. Love that you were able to think this all through so logically. It's the first step and it's the hardest. Go, girl, go!


Tell me your truth and I will continue to tell you mine......