In light of my week this week, I made a little list of personal things I must work on. Transitions have always been hard for me. I need a bit of chaos in my life for some reason, it is how I get things done. It is truly silly and it is affecting both my mental health and my relationship now that I have such an even keel and sane significant other. Here we go:
1. DO NOT PICK FIGHTS WITH CRUSH. This will be tough for me, but anything big, dramatic, emotional or petty needs to be slept on before it is discussed over the phone. I sometimes talk JUST to hear my own voice. True true.
2. Do what I say I am going to do. I have been struggling with this. I over promise and under deliver. I like a little conflict. WHY? There is no reason. I really need to work on this.
3. I need to continue to avoid wheat and not slip on this. The psoriasis is about 75 percent improved. This is huge for me. I haven't had my skin this under control in over 5 years. It is such a feeling of hope, I need to stick with it and remember how this feels. The psoriasis depresses me. I cannot control it, so I feel super out of control about it.
4. I need to get out of bed everyday, dressed everyday, and go do something out of the house everyday, even if it is just the gym. For the last few weeks, I have found myself in a state of holding. I am going through the motions, but not living. I work from home, so I can do this....and it isn't good. One day I will NEED to have an office, I cannot handle not reporting in somewhere. Every few months this happens to me. I know it is my depression and anxiety rearing it's head again, but lately the lows have been lower. I am thinking that my new birth control may be altering my moods. I feel a bit out of control emotionally and the real lows began when I went back on birth control in October.
5. I need to be a better friend, sister, and aunt. I worry so much about my business and tying up loose ends and being available to Crush, that I have slipped a bit. Also, Crush and I both work for ourselves and talk and email too much throughout the day. I sometimes feel ambushed by his correspondence. I asked him nicely earlier this week if we could limit the 9am - 6pm chat, so I can focus on my clients, appointments, and errands for work and he understood and agreed. Just that alone has helped me feel a bit less stressed, so I am glad I addressed it. Love him dearly I do, but I can't chat and work at the same time, I make mistakes and then can't give anything I am doing my full attention.
THANK YOU for your wonderful advice btw, I am feeling a lot more grounded since I shared.
Happy Friday to all, going to hit the candy sales soon!