Thursday, November 15, 2012

Eating Update

So, hmmmmm, it has been terrible around here.  Not good, BAD.  But, I am okay with this.  I am awful with transition.  I realize this.  I know what I am doing, so that is actually a step for me.  The brain/hunger connection is actually working.  Whether I decide to listen, well, that is another story.

Today, after my 11:00 am bowl of ice cream, I thought, WTF are you doing?  Seriously!?  Yes, I started new birth control and I have had my period for 1 week, yes, I am tired and overwhelmed from my trip and the fact that I plan to move away from the state I have called off and on for the better part of 20 years home, yes, I have a sore throat and want to put things in my mouth to make me feel's all true.

But, but, well, I am better than this.  I deserve my prettiest dresses back, my not have to try on 100 outfits to find a good one, to know that all my bikinis will look awesome on the southern shores in due time, I know I can do this.  I want to do this.  I want to do this for me, but also, for the man I love.  Not because he gives one shit about any part of my body other than my heart and mind (this is true, he has told me this), but because I want to live a long time for him and our future babies and I have to get healthy now and incorporate great habits now, when I have time to be selfish, so it is the time NOW!

Today, I got on Lose It and started a new account.  I put in my goals and get this, I will get there on my 32nd birthday if I follow the plan....kismet in my mind, kind of like how my life has been these days.  I plan to do this one day at a time and not get myself all overwhelmed.  I have gotten everything I have wanted just by believing in myself, I know I can do this, too.  This time it will be for real.

I also have a bunch of other personal and work goals that need to be worked out before I leave here in 10 months.  I have lots to do, but, I can't wait!  I am putting a big bow on my experience in this city and more than anything on my 20's!  The last year I was really living in a personal self-improvement bubble, so it doesn't exactly count.  I had to come home again to get the support I needed.  Where there is a will, there is a way.  I learned this and I will continue to remember it.

Sweet dreams!

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