So, hmmmmm, it has been terrible around here. Not good, BAD. But, I am okay with this. I am awful with transition. I realize this. I know what I am doing, so that is actually a step for me. The brain/hunger connection is actually working. Whether I decide to listen, well, that is another story.
Today, after my 11:00 am bowl of ice cream, I thought, WTF are you doing? Seriously!? Yes, I started new birth control and I have had my period for 1 week, yes, I am tired and overwhelmed from my trip and the fact that I plan to move away from the state I have called off and on for the better part of 20 years home, yes, I have a sore throat and want to put things in my mouth to make me feel better....it's all true.
But, but, well, I am better than this. I deserve my prettiest dresses back, my not have to try on 100 outfits to find a good one, to know that all my bikinis will look awesome on the southern shores in due time, I know I can do this. I want to do this. I want to do this for me, but also, for the man I love. Not because he gives one shit about any part of my body other than my heart and mind (this is true, he has told me this), but because I want to live a long time for him and our future babies and I have to get healthy now and incorporate great habits now, when I have time to be selfish, so it is the time NOW!
Today, I got on Lose It and started a new account. I put in my goals and get this, I will get there on my 32nd birthday if I follow the plan....kismet in my mind, kind of like how my life has been these days. I plan to do this one day at a time and not get myself all overwhelmed. I have gotten everything I have wanted just by believing in myself, I know I can do this, too. This time it will be for real.
I also have a bunch of other personal and work goals that need to be worked out before I leave here in 10 months. I have lots to do, but, I can't wait! I am putting a big bow on my experience in this city and more than anything on my 20's! The last year I was really living in a personal self-improvement bubble, so it doesn't exactly count. I had to come home again to get the support I needed. Where there is a will, there is a way. I learned this and I will continue to remember it.