Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Crush is Only Just a Man

Yes, that is right, we got into our first official fight.

Yesterday was a bit emotional for Mister Crush and me.

But, we remedied it and went to bed all made up.

I don't believe in going to bed angry.

Why did we fight you may ask?

Well, as I have shared, Crush and I have been exclusive for about 2 months now.  But, prior to even consummating our relationship, we were emotionally exclusive.  We had discussed not dating other people, seeing if this long distance thing could work, being present in the possibility that this could be sometime extraordinary.

I went to his home state and bought gifts and a new dress and met EVERYONE (like 250 people) important in his life.  I slept over at his home, his parents' home, had coffee with his grandma and siblings.

Here comes the problem...

Yesterday, my Crush tells me in passing that his mom and sister wanted to know if we are exclusive...

And cue record scratch....UMMMMMMMMMMMM WTF?

I don't fly across the country with treats from my city and bottles of champagne for my man when I am seeing other ones?  I WAS SO CONFUSED!

Here is the thing I learned, Crush is from a very formal family.  Awful was from a very formal family.  They appear that they are close with their family because they spend so much time together, but they don't actually discuss their feelings or what is genuinely going on in their lives.

They may ask, "how is that steak?" over the dinner table, but they don't ask "why are you being such a crabby brat today, do you have your period?" which can be mentioned at my family dinner table among other things....come to think of it, being polite at the dinner table isn't a bad thing!

My issue is this, I need Crush to let his family know how he feels for me.  I see it all too much:

Men tell their lady loves all about their feelings for them, but they don't tell their mothers.  

Mama had NO idea about the serious nature of our current relationship and the commitment her son has already promised me.  As things will progress, she may feel like she was left out, she won't believe in the ease of our relationship, and she may think I'm a powerful, manipulative, man stealing wench.  My sister is still repairing her relationship with her mother- in-law, because my bro-in-law basically proposed to my sissy without telling his parents.  Charming, I know.

Think about the daughter-in-law, mother-in-law relationship.  It is typically not the best.  I figured it out!!!!!  It's because mama feels left out!

So, I told Crush that pretty much his lack of openness was going to create a strained relationship between his mom and me.  He is the oldest after all and a real textbook definition of a mama's boy.  Which I actually love.  If I man loves his mama right,  he will be a great husband and dad.  I am happy to report that Crush did the right thing, he sent an email to his family letting them know how serious we are, that we are in love, and that he believes we will marry one day.

This my friends, this is the right kind of man for me.  He listens, he reacts, AND he responds.  He heard me and he thought through it and he did right by me.  I need to work on being a boss and making people do what I feel they should, but this one, this I believe in.

I was right on this one because this peace will benefit ALL of us.  I want our relationship to be as easy as possible and making family feel included is the best way to have lots of fans!

Thank you, Crush!

I love you even a bit more today, than I did yesterday!

1 comment:

  1. Aww, that doesn't even sound like a fight to me!

    ReplyDelete

Tell me your truth and I will continue to tell you mine......