The trip was a total success. Better than I imagined. I am floating on a cloud…….and…..in a very traditional Southern turn of events, I have been somewhat lavaliered. Yes, lavaliered….
Not is the Greek system sense as it doesn’t have any fraternity ties, but, Crush gave me his prep school class ring today after lunch with a grand speech about how it is traditional to give a class ring from his particular school before an engagement ring and he wants me to know that he is starting the process. He chose to tell me this in the midst of a 3 mile walk around town in the middle of the day when it was 92 degrees and 100 percent humidity. I was also wearing jeans and needing a cold drink badly and we were on our way to get 1 for me. I was so confused as to what was exactly going on (was he about to propose!?) that I nearly fainted!
Not yet, but we are getting closer. Almost to Phase 2 we are…..he told me that I should wear the ring on my left hand ring finger to “warm it up” for the next couple months. Swoon.
Also, I have huge fingers for a lady and he mentioned that he can’t wear the class ring on any of his fingers anymore (he was a LATE bloomer and grew about 8 inches during college), but it fits my left hand ring finger perfectly. Again, I am not at all surprised because things with us always seem to be this way, but still…what are the chances?
Crush told me he will be coming back out to the Midwest 1 more time to “talk to my Daddy” this summer and that his Momma and he are beginning to work on picking out my ring……In an odd turn of events, my Mom’s ring and his Momma's are exactly the same setting, just with a different shaped diamond! Crush's Momma has phenomenal taste and I admire her fashion sense, poise, and kindness. I am VERY happy that she will be involved in the process. I think it is super sweet and a huge compliment that she wants to help him with the ring.
I am NOT just excited about a ring (which I am), but to spend my life in a place I LOVE with a man I LOVE. I truly believe that Crush is the ONLY man for me and this trip out gave me tons of confidence that my future will be bright. Better than I ever dreamed. I can’t wait to be the lady I have always been in my heart. To emerge from my cocoon.
So….the parents meeting….well….it was JUST PERFECT!!! Everyone got on like a house on fire and the folks just clicked. The weekend went by in a flash! 2 suppers with his folks, 1 show with his folks, 1 concert with his folks, 1 lunch with his lovely Grandmomma, 1 trip to the beach, 1 trip to Crush’s home town and many many many sites in between….sunsets, singing, fried chicken, white wine, champagne toasts, and ice cream cones. HEAVEN. I also worked out everyday I was there which is a huge accomplishment in itself....I just feel SO good in the South! Everything is easier for me.
My folks just like me, felt right at home. There is simply nothing like Southern hospitality. Common courtesy, patience, social grace and manners, and best of all, everyone is super friendly!
I am sorry to say, but my current city is just missing it all…..and it may just be me, but I personally feel that here, I lose a little faith in humanity day by day. The mean girls. The backstabbing. The crime. The violence. The racial tension. The road rage. The political corruption.
And I know that in my future state, things are not perfect. Perfection doesn’t exist, but the simple acknowledgement of life does. Pregnant ladies (all ladies as a matter of fact!) are offered seats, doors are held open, people who know each other…even just a little bit, actually stop to say “hello” and do not pretend to not see one each other (I am guilty of this in my city as I feel like it is just the way to conduct myself socially), store clerks and servers smile, exchange pleasantries, and make eye contact. It is so refreshing. I hope it never changes. I LOVE IT!
It makes me feel like I have purpose, the friendliness….that the world cares about the people in it. I feel at peace and it brings out the best in me. I smile and wave and chat and hug and compliment and walk with my head held high. I stand up straight and make healthy choices for my mind and body.
When I am down South, my anxiety is minimal, my confidence is sky-high, and my need to binge eat is non-existent. It is such a huge indication of how environment is a major trigger for me. If I do not like where I am, it is hard for me to be myself. It is shocking that my location has such a great influence on my feeling of self-worth. But at 32 years old, I still have so much life left ahead of me (let's hope!!!). I know when I move, I will not only let go of the past things that have hurt me, I will celebrate how far I have come in order to get to a peaceful place for me.
Just like how I sent my “Husband List” out to sea last June to my grandfather, I plan to send a letter out to the universe to all of the people that have hurt me in September when I move. I plan to list why they hurt me, what I could have done better, and what I have learned. I will send it out at my happiest place on Earth (Crush’s beach house) and then it will all be in the past and given to the powers above, if you will. I do believe that forgiveness is necessary for progress and I want to be the best and brightest I can be for me.
This weekend I learned more about Crush’s past, present, and future. His family is so utterly fascinating. Trend-setters. Barrier breakers. Entrepreneurs. Charitable beyond comprehension. I know why he kept so much a secret. I would have, too…..I understand it all now. History. I am encouraging him to write a book. He has a story to tell. He is truly one of a kind and a product of his environment. I say this now as only a compliment.
The future holds so much good. The present is being wrapped up now. I love and care for my clients dearly and I will DO WHATEVER I CAN to make everything the absolute best it can be.
I want to leave on a high note, especially since I have heard terrible rumors and lies about me. It is time to prove myself to myself….my final swan song in a place I cannot wait to not call home.
The past will finally be in the past and my future is so clear and near, I can taste it.
Live life now, but dream big.