Wednesday, August 28, 2013

The End of Privacy?

I try to be private.  I just don't like everyone up in my business.  I have even been avoiding updating my LinkedIn because I don't want to share my move with old friends from the past that I no longer associate with.

As I get older, I want to control who I spend my time with more and more.

Of course, I am a hypocrite, too.  I stalk Awful's wedding registry, but I wouldn't want him to do it to me....true confessions are ugly.

Lately, with new technology (especially iPhones and other smart phones) everyone can be caught.  If you are doing something that you wouldn't want someone to know about, you really shouldn't partake in it.  Thank goodness I went to college when cell phones were just becoming mainstream....the way I used to party was perfect blackmail material.  Drunk girl - check.  Short skirts sometimes without proper undergarments - check.  Irrational anger that could result in chicken nugget throwing - check.

I am SO lucky I was born in the early 80's.

Last night, in between working, I searched out some celebrity gossip and learned of a new brewing scandal.  Steve Ward (some wouldn't consider him a celeb) from Tough Love on VH1 was recorded convincing a prostitute to sleep with him in exchange for a spot on his show.  The entire conversation including the sex that followed was leaked to the media.  There is speculation that it was shared because the gal he seduced never made it on to his show this season.  I listened to the entire rendezvous and I lost a bit of my life, but, Steve Ward comes off terribly.  He speaks against the idea of matchmaking (what he does for a living) and he just sounds like a total pig.  In addition, he has a girlfriend who lives with him, so he is also a cheater.

I used to watch Tough Love.  I actually liked it.  I really enjoyed Steve and I felt like he was genuine. I was convinced that with his hard-knock advice, he was helping the lost ladies on his show.  I personally related to them when it came to body and self esteem issues.  I remember tuning in once while visiting Sissy and she came into the room and said, "You watch this?  Doesn't the host remind you so much of all the stupid entitled douches that we went to high school with?  He is such a scum bag, I can tell."  I defended him, but she wasn't wrong.

But, is it right that Steve had a private exchange recorded without his consent?

Lately, I think to myself, if you wouldn't want it thrown back at you, don't write or say it.  You never know what may be used against you.  As the world changes, the people in it need to adapt.

There is a thin veil between public and private.  Celebrities who used to be able to be assholes or just plain crazy privately can't really get away with it anymore.  People I once never really thought of, I now don't care for: Ashton Kutcher, John Mayer, Kanye West, Lindsay Lohan, Amanda Bynes, Justin Beiber, Miley Cyrus, Taylor Swift, and Reese Witherspoon to name a few....all because of the way they portrayed themselves on Twitter, because they were involved in a scandal, or because they just seem very nasty and unlikable when filmed on camera without being prepared, so in real life. 

There is so much public scandal and deceit that more and more, people feel like they can be cheated.  That no one is really who they claim to be. With too much exposure comes too much room for interpretation.  It will be difficult to ever regain control again.

Back in the day, scandals were not blown open as often.  Celebrities had handlers, PR agents, and assistants who worked hard to protect their public images.  Famous people, stay off that Twitter if you cannot control yourself!

I do think that I would be happier if I lived 100 years ago.  I am not into all of the minute by minute correspondence and I love dresses and really supportive undergarments.  I would rather show my friends a photo book in person that an album online.  But, I try to not be such a crotchety old lady......

Even though I just want to sit alone with some lemonade, cookies, and a typewriter while I create a letter to send an old friend via snail mail.

Sometimes I dream I could send my iPhone to space while I sail to a deserted island, but then I hop on the gossip sites and whisper "hypocrite" to myself just like Gretchen does when she speaks of Vicki.


  1. That guy is a total tool and I always had that feeling about him, even though I watched the first season of Tough Love. He knew he was doing something wrong, especially if you are in the spotlight, you need to watch your actions.

    However, I love Kanye West because he is the president of the "don't give a fuck club". Plus he is very talented, and I make exception for attitude when the person can back it up. I think I just like that he is an asshole. As far as his debacle with Taylor Swift, it wasn't right to do what he did, but he wasn't wrong.

    1. I thought Stev was nice, but now that I know he is such a scumbag, I feel like a fool, the toolness was right there hanging out for me to see in clear view and I missed it!

      I do appreciate Kanye's attitude and he is talented. I love working out to his music and I saw him in concert and he was amazing. I don't fault him at all for the Taylor Swift debacle as he speaks his mind, for knocking up a Kardashian or even for revealing baby North on Kris' now canceled show.

      Years ago, before I was a hermit, I went to a Kanye concert and then ended up at the same bar he did after his show. He was a huge (and so short!) douche. I actually kinda met him as one of his entourage members was chatting/joking with me and Kanye walked by (he is tiny!) and he said hello. His entourage was picking the ladies (short, long dark hair...all very much Kim K types) that were allowed to speak to him (I was not one of them), and I witnessed the ladies being presented to him and he would either confirm or deny them access to the VIP area. The entire club was his. You couldn't stand here, you couldn't use the bathroom, you couldn't go to that bar, you couldn't sit on that bench. It was insane. All you could do was stand there and be told what you couldn't do. The furniture was even changed for him. Quickly, I realized, Kanye was just another little man on a power trip. Making rules to control people annoys me.

  2. I hope you can truly let go of Awful soon. You deserve it :)

    1. Thank you! I am actually surprised at how much his engagement has bothered me. I am a bit competitive and the fact that I continue to see him randomly, well I see it as a sign that I am doing the right thing by moving. I am not proud that I am still bothered by him, but I am processing.

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Tell me your truth and I will continue to tell you mine......