A friend I love and care for deeply is going through a little something....a breakup.
I told her this. Time* is the only way to soothe the breakup scorn. I wish there was a better answer for this and we could play a fun 80's song and have a fashion spree/makeover montage and make it all go away in 3 minutes.
* Even 2 YEARS post breakup and I am engaged to my soul mate for heaven's sake, I STILL get angry about the shit that went down with Awful from time to time and cyber stalk him and balk and huff around. I BROKE UP WITH HIM, let's not forget which only adds to my crazy. AND......I think he may have acquired a bulldog which ANNOYS me on EVERY level because that was the dog I WANTED when we were together and he didn't want one. He once again gets to give me a virtual flick off and as hilarious as I find it because he doesn't have an original thought, it enrages me because get your own ideas and own life, Awful. AND, nanananabooboo, I don't even want a bulldog anymore, but I won't tell you the kind of dog we are getting (a cairn terrier) because you will probably outbid the one I put a deposit down for and travel 1,200 miles by motorcycle to screw me over. Yes, I know, I am NOT normal (AT ALL!) and that the world doesn't revolve around me and trying to piss me off. I also realize that only bolding some words which I do when I get excited must be super annoying to read...sorry about that. Oy, the "......" must be annoying, too.
There is nothing I like more than an inspirational quote. I look at Pinterest and Instagram for them and not for wedding ideas which is pretty funny when you think about it. Here are a few things I came up with, a few things I summarized from being influenced by other sayings and a few things that are just common sense (when you think about it and the heart sometimes clouds the mind) that I wanted to share for my AMAZING friend and everyone else who has suffered a breakup. Here we go:
1. Breakups and breakdowns allow for breakthroughs.
2. A person should be measured by the way they make you feel as when it comes to love, that is the only thing that really matters.
3. Life gives you great lessons when you are ready to learn them.
4. Change is terrifying, but it is also extremely exciting. A clean slate is a gift that keeps on giving.
5. So much can happen in a year. Shit, look at me if you really need some proof. And if it can happen for me, it can happen for ANYONE......I am not a precious pony.
6. Make your husband/wife list. Make it! PLEASE. When you are ready. It works. I got everything I wrote on my list....EVERYTHING. And....well, I forgot to wish for clean and tidy, sigh.
7. Getting in shape and buying new makeup and revamping your wardrobe and losing weight are all awesome. But, nothing can really fix the way you feel about yourself externally until you change the way you feel about yourself internally. I tried to lose weight for YEARS before meeting Crush and I am just now able to do it because I feel safe, secure and loved. My fiancé fell in love with me when I was at my absolute heaviest EVER and he still loves me for me. I will get off my pedestal now and stop playing my violin, but true love is about so much more than the way you look. And we are ALL gorgeous, darlings.
8. Reintroduce yourself to a few things that you missed from your life before this relationship ever happened. These things make you happy and ground you and will help you re-identify with who you are as a person.
9. A broken heart is a feeling like no other. It is dark and scary and painful and parched. It is heavy and deep and personal and lonely. Trite as it is, the thin line between love and hate can be microscopic. You will feel crazy. You will feel FUCKING PISSED. You will eat too much, drink too much and sleep too much. But, you WILL FEEL. And feeling emotion is this amazing thing that people can do. You will forever really understand what all of the sad songs, movies and poems about love are all about. You will be moved. And your outlook about what you deserve and who you allow yourself to date will change because you will have learned (sometimes it takes a few tries to get this one down......I liked to date alcohol and food abusers until I realized that 2 peas in a pod may make a party, but not a functioning relationship).
10. Do not apologize for the person that you are. Only apologize for the stupidity of the person you were once with because they could not appreciate all of your gifts. For example, "I am sorry, but you will NEVER do better than me." Oh yes, and sometimes a simple, "FUCK YOU!!!!" can be very effective, too.
When life gives you lemons, try to make some lemonade and if you are too depressed for a little while to get the motivation to mix them with water and sugar, I highly recommend sipping on some Limoncello to take the edge off.