Bragger

I used to be a bragger.  Correction.  I used to be a liar.

Exaggerations just fell out of my mouth.  I seriously did not know what I was talking about half the time.

Since I was drunk half the time, perhaps it was the vodka talking.

Sorry to anyone on the receiving end of my nonsense.

A few weeks ago, a dear friend of mine was in town from the West coast and we chatted a bit about the idea of bragging over our spicy California rolls (YUM!).

My friend is in a serious relationship with a wonderful and established man (I finally met him after lunch and he is just as dreamy and sweet as I thought he would be) and they happen to have a very nice life together.

My friend lives in a fabulous city, takes amazing trips,  goes to the opera, the symphony, and out to fancy suppers.  Her man friend owns a few properties, including a vacation home and they enjoy their weekends in the country when they aren't working too hard at a very large and well known company.

My friend mentioned that sometimes it is difficult to catch up with old friends (she was back in town for a brief visit) without sounding braggy, but I totally understand what she is saying.  I do not consider her stories to be bragging, it just happens to be what is going on currently in her life.  The truth.  Her reality.

Before you throw rocks and sticks at me, I will admit, that my life with Crush is also a bit braggy.  He comes from a very established place and there are no shortage of fancy parties, nice suppers, and multiple residents to visit.  But, if he lived in a box, I would still date him. I didn't know about all this until a few months after we started dating and he was very protective of his life and what he shared with me initially.  I was already in love with him by the time I found out about any spoils.  He holds his cards close.

When I meet up with certain people, I find myself censoring my stories.  Instead of explaining that I was at a fancy party, I may just leave huge chunks out.  The old me would have poured on and on about it, but with some age has come some rather recent humility.  And, I am still working on it.  I notice that I can brag without realizing it because old habits die hard.

Being humble is still something I am getting the hang of.  Especially in our society where I do feel like bragging is part of the territory if you are active on Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram.  It is hard to not feel compelled to share the best parts of your life and leave out the less glamorous ones.

I am also a lot more private now, so I don't even like sharing ALL of the details of my life like I used to in daily conversations.  That is what blogging is for!!!!

Since I am hyper paranoid about what other people think of me, I worry about this sort of thing more than I should.  I worry about everything more than I should......

I know I can come across as obnoxious as a veil for my insecurity.  I get this.

I don't want to be know as Miss Braggy Pants in my new town.  Where I am going being humble is expected regardless of the situation.

I am practicing.